Growing Great Minds

Stop Stealing Dreams - What is School For?

2012-02-29T12:41:00.002-06:00

The link below will take you to a manifesto written by Seth Godin. I know most of you won't read much of it (it's 30,000 words and 191 pages), but it embodies a lot of what many of you already innately know about traditional schools and why you choose Montessori, although his ideologies are not specifically about Montessori schools. Without trying to make this about anything other than what it is, I defer to Seth's own words:

"The economy has changed, probably forever. School hasn't. School was invented to create a constant stream of compliant factory workers to the growing businesses of the 1900s. It continues to do an excellent job at achieving this goal, but it's not a goal we need to achieve any longer. In this 30,000 word manifesto, I imagine a different set of goals and start (I hope) a discussion about how we can reach them. One thing is certain: if we keep doing what we've been doing, we're going to keep getting what we've been getting. Our kids are too important to sacrifice to the status quo."

http://www.sethgodin.com/sg/docs/StopStealingDreamsSCREEN.pdf

Turn It Off

2012-01-18T11:54:00.008-06:00

I've labored over the idea of writing about screen time for a while, but I've honestly been very worried about how it would be received. Then suddenly the courage came to me in this form: there has been much research done and many articles written documenting that the amount of screen time children are exposed to should be limited. I don't need to rewrite all that information. And if you've ignored all that research and all those articles, you're going to ignore this - not be upset that I wrote it.

This post is for the rest of you who are looking for ideas somewhere along the spectrum of when and how to limit your child's screen time in a way that suits and works for your family. It's not a mandate, it's a launching point for you to initiate change or to share what changes you've made.

First, let's clarify. This isn't just about television. As technology advances, we must continue to refine what is and isn't a good use of our time. So we've adopted the term screen time to represent just that - time spent using anything that has a screen including televisions, computers, cell phones, video games, iPods, iPads, etc.

Let's start with where we can assume a good portion of your child's time goes. If you're reading this it is likely your child is a student at FSMS, spending at least seven hours a day with us and, depending on age, sleeping approximately eight to ten hours a night. That leaves around nine hours each weekday filled with various other activities such as chores, extra curriculars, civic or religious duties, and, of course, screen time.

Despite what I said earlier, I must reiterate all the research that proves how passive screen time can be. And don't delude yourself; playing a video game or games on your iPhone isn't educational for your child no matter what you think - at least not in the Montessori sense of "educational" where the child is responsible for constructing new knowledge for himself by actively doing something. Anything involving a screen is a passive activity - yes, even the Wii or Xbox Kinect. (Now's your chance to google "too much screen time children" and surf some of that research.) Once we agree that screen time is a passive waste of time, the question most of us face is "so what do we do?" My answer is simple - turn it off. But here's where the "what works for our family" question comes in to play as well.

I know of two families who have no televisions in their houses. At all. Um...well although that may work for them, it would never work for me. I love football. And my husband is on the news a lot and I think he's cute and like to see him when he is. And I have five kids and sometimes, (just sometimes) it's nice to put in a movie and say "be still and quiet and know that I am Mom." So although that works for them, it wouldn't work for us. But it's certainly an option you could consider. Are you television addicts? Maybe like drug addicts, you need to go cold turkey. I don't know, I'm not you. But it's an option.

I know another family that does T.V. Free Tuesdays. This night of the week is reserved for board games and reading and cooking together. They purposefully set aside one night a week to say "we are going to be together and aware of each other and develop our relationships." I love this. Maybe it would be enough for you. It's another option.

Our family is screen free Monday through Friday. We've been doing this since August. The children are not allowed to play video games, watch television, be on her (12 year old only) cell phone, play with iPods, or play on the computer at all until after 6pm on Friday evening. Friday evenings usually consist of family movie night and nachos or homemade pizza. "Technically" our kids can do screen things on Saturdays but most Saturdays we can be found in the woods hiking, so it's a natural limit. Sunday afternoon is the most common time to catch my kids watching television and that's usually at Gram's house because she has cable (we just have an antenna and get six channels) and they get their fix of Disney Channel for the week. What I've noticed with these boundaries in place is that even when given the chance, my kids are a thousand times more likely to say "can we play outside" or "will you play Go Fish with me" than they ever were before we went screen free for portions of the week. And the imaginary things my kids can now create with Lego's amaze me when before they were most likely to spout the phrase "I'm bored" at me when told to go play. Our screen free time has allowed them the opportunity to relearn how to play and be active. They climb trees. They chase birds. They build forts. They ride bikes and skateboards, and play baseball. They found a rabbit nest (awesome) and then found a book on our bookshelf about animals so they could learn more about how and why rabbits build nests.

Our "screens in the car" rule is three hours. If we're going to be in the car for longer than three hours they can take their games and iPods. If we're going to be in the car less than three hours, too bad, because we'll be playing the license plate game or the ABC game or singing or playing I Spy or practicing being still and quiet (and knowing that I am Mom). The car is a great time for conversation. They're trapped. I force them to talk to me. I try very hard not to waste these precious moments letting them watch a video or play a game.

The hard part about what we chose to do (what works for us) was modeling this behavior. Before we went screen free I loved to unwind by watching Jeopardy and then the 5 O'clock News. I can't do that anymore. Now I have to wait for the 10 O'clock News (long past the kids going to bed) to see my cute husband (on television, that is). I was always texting or checking Facebook on my phone. I can't do that anymore. Now if you send me a message between the hours of 4pm and 8pm you're less likely to get a response. I had to give up watching some of my favorite television shows. But just as I've seen changes in my children, I've seen more changes in myself. I'm more present with my family. I'm "fully present" so to speak. What I've learned about myself is that I'm doing a good work with my family - shaping the next generation and impacting the world. I can't do that well if I spend my life watching reruns or wasting time on social media. I've also learned to cherish the quiet. Now, when the television is on, it seems so loud and noisy. I prefer the quiet nights where the littles (that's the four kids under the age of nine) are all in bed by 8pm and the quasi big (the 12 year old) and Steven and I sit and read and she will quietly say "Mom, what does this word mean?" I love that.

So I've given you three examples of limiting screen time and they fall all along the spectrum of choices you could make.

Here's my question - what have you done to limit screen time for your family or what are you thinking about trying? I think we can start an important dialogue that will help our families find a fit that works for them and makes them stronger, better families. By being honest about what we do (even if it's admitting that sometimes we use the screens as babysitters) we can support and encourage one another on our journey along this path of parenthood.

What Children Forgot

2011-09-06T10:03:00.010-05:00

"In their dealings with children adults do not become egotistic but egocentric. They look upon everything pertaining to a child's soul from their own point of view..."

I finished a book yesterday titled "What Alice Forgot." I found it wildly fascinating. The plot centers around a woman who faints during a workout at the gym and wakes up thinking it is 1998 when, in reality, it is 2008. She has forgotten ten years of her life. Throughout the course of the book it becomes glaringly obvious that much has changed about her life in the last decade and very little of it is for the better - hers or anyone she knows. The hard part in reading her rediscovery of these changes is how shocking each revelation is to her. She has no time to deal with or process the changes as she encounters them. She isn't "participating" in these changes as she regains her memory - they're just being presented to her by other people, other people who know what happened, what steps were taken to move forward, and how life is different since the changes. And throughout the book they continually project their own emotions about the situations on to Alice since she can't remember them. She is forced to learn about and accept these life altering changes through the eyes and ears and perceptions of other human beings.

And so it is with our children. They're told mom and dad are divorcing and how to feel about it. They're told mom is going back to work outside the home and how to feel about it. They're told dad got a promotion at work and won't be home as often and how to feel about it. They're told Grandma died and how to feel about it. They're told another baby is going to be born or siblings are being adopted and how to feel about it. And who does the telling gets the pleasure of forming the "how to feel about it" part. For whatever reason, it's like we believe our children aren't able to live out these changes with us. Sadly, though, accepting change and living through change to see the other side (especially difficult change) is a life skill children aren't born with. So if we don't teach them, how will they learn?

Let me share a very personal example with you. For those of you unaware, our family has recently adopted two African American children out of the Arkansas foster care system. This is a decision that was formed over several years and actively pursued since November of last year. When we began the actual, formal process of adopting, we talked with our biological children about the decision. We tried, as best as possible and appropriate, to keep them informed about the process and how it was going. They had lots of questions and we answered those as best we could, even if the answer was "we don't know." We did very well about involving the children in this process right up until the moment the adopted children came to live with us. Then I dropped the ball.

As a mom, I was overwhelmed with the stress and the change taking place in my family. I didn't anticipate feelings akin to post pardem depression (what I now know to be an actual problem called post adoption depression). I wasn't ready to deal with emotions I never knew I would have to face - feelings of inadequacy and insecurities about what we had done. But I was taking all the right steps to deal with these issues and successfully work through this change in my life. And as I was dealing with it, I projected all I was doing onto my children and told them "we're fine." If I could successfully handle the change and the transition period, then everyone and everything would be okay. But what about the other five people in the house? It's not like my husband and the children can "forget" the change and simply wake up a few months down the road to be told by me how it all went. We all have to go through it. We all have to adjust.

I've learned that if I'm exhausted and tired, the four and five year old boys probably are, too, and may need a little grace. If what the seven year old says is annoying to me, it might be annoying to the 11 year old, too, and she needs some space and time alone. As I learn my new routines and patterns, everyone in the house is learning them, too.

One of my biggest outlets for stress and frustration is talking to people in my inner circle. I need that sounding board for all I'm going through and to have people say "you're okay." But I wasn't allowing my children to talk about how they feel. I wasn't even asking. I had several people, several times a day in the beginning, calling and asking how I was. But I never asked my children if they wanted to talk. Steven and I would stay up half the night talking things over, but never ask the children if they had opinions or concerns. We were living their change for them and telling them how to feel about it.

Whatever changes are going on in our family, we don't need to try to live the change for our children. We shouldn't project our emotions and feelings on them. They're entitled to their own view of the situation. They may not (and probably won't) cope just like we would. But they do need to learn to cope and unless they are given opportunities to learn, they will enter adulthood expecting other people to deal with their changes and decisions for them.

Our children don't have memory loss. They're going through these changes at the same time we are. We have to help them learn to live through those changes to see the other side. As parents, we have a wonderful opportunity to set good examples of how to cope and come out stronger. We should be talking with our children about how we handle change, what we do when we feel anxious or worried, and, as scary as it may sound, allow them to see our struggles from time to time. Then it won't be about what we hope they "forgot" but so much more about what they learned.

Seeing the Child

2011-08-25T09:20:00.004-05:00

"The adult must find within himself the still unknown error that prevents him from seeing the child as he is."

One basic idea in the Montessori philosophy is that every child carries unseen within him the man he will become. In order to develop his physical, intellectual and spiritual powers to the fullest, he must have freedom within limits. One of the first things a Montessori teacher learns to do is constantly look for that person who is not yet there. The teacher must have a kind of faith that the child will reveal himself. It's so much less about creating a child to be who we expect him to be and more about allowing the child to develop into the human being he is meant to be.

As competent adults, it is our responsibility to set reasonable standards and high expectations for a child. It is not, however, our job to dictate the path a child will take to reach those standards and expectations. The child must be left free (within boundaries) to develop his own pesonality, skills, and abilities and discover for himself who he is and how he will approach life. And rarely will it look exactly like the way we would do it - because he is a child and we are adults.

In the end, does it really matter how the child got his shoes on his feet as long as they are on? Is it beneficial for us to point out how it could be done more quickly or efficiently? Do we really think talking about how something should be done is better than him learning for himself how it can be done? Celebrate the fact the he got them on and have faith that when he is 10 years old he will be more adept at getting his shoes on than when he is four.

How a nine year old girl handles disagreements with her school friends may not look anything like what we would choose to do, but she must learn for herself what it means to be a good friend and figure out her own relationship road. Yes, we can offer guidance and suggestions and impose natural consequences when necessary, but we can't be her and we certainly can't force her to be us. Believe the best for your child. She will, given time and enough life experience, learn to be a good friend and choose good friends.

Let's be gracious with the children in our charge. They are not adults - yet. They're working hard to develop into competent, joyful, successful humans and rather than frustrate them with our "prison warden" mentality of do it now and do it our way, let us celebrate their baby steps into the world around them as they explore, learn, grow, change direction, backtrack, and charge headlong into life. As Dr. Montessori taught "it is the child who makes the man, and no man exists who was not made by the child he once was."

Independence - The First Montessori Lesson

2011-08-17T09:20:00.021-05:00

"Any child who is self-sufficient, who can tie his shoes, dress or undress himself, reflects in his joy and sense of achievement the image of human dignity, which is derived from a sense of independence."

One of our primary goals for Montessori students is a hightened level of independence. As a Montessori parent, one compliment you are likely to often receive is that your child seems "older and more mature" than other children his age. People see and acknowledge independence as an admirable trait, but many don't understand the reason why it's so important to a child's development or how to help the child acheive an appropriate level of independence.

As Montessorians, we believe that a child's level of independence is directly linked to his level of self-concept and ability. The more independent a child is, the stronger his self-concept, and, in turn, his level of ability to acheive success. It may sound simplistic, but it's the same concept as The Little Engine That Could - "I think I can. I think I can." When a child achieves a task on his own, his belief in his ability to tackle and succesfully complete new and unfamiliar tasks (i.e. academic skills) skyrockets. And studies show that a student's level of independence and self-concept are more strongly correlated to long-term academic success than IQ. In other words, an average, independent child with a strong self-concept will likely do better in school than a child who simply has a high IQ. There is no way to stress how important your child's independence is in the long run. It effects everything.

So the question, then, is how to develop an appropriate level of independence? It's tricky because expecting too much of a child causes frustrations as does expecting too little. Every child is different, but in general, there are age appropriate tasks that will help every child achieve the next level of independence.

Primary children ages three to six should be able to complete basic self-care tasks alone such as dressing, toileting, and fixing a snack and cleaning up when done. Children this age can also assist with household chores such as folding towels, setting the table for dinner, feeding an animal, and much more.

Lower elementary children ages six to nine can build on those primary foundations and continue to learn to choose their own clothes for each day, fix their own hair, and pack their lunch for school. If properly taught, they are capable of loading and unloading a dishwasher, folding a load of clothes, helping prepare dinner, and caring for a pet.

Upper elementary children ages nine to twelve are ready to be exposed to (not competent in) life skills such as doing their own laundry, prearing full meals, and handling finances (such as saving money, budgeting for needed items). They can learn to help with planning family trips by researching hotels and calculating gas costs. There are so many "life skill" opportunities for children this age. Think about things they need to know for life and start exposing them to these ideas now. Build their confidence while you still have them in a controlled and safe environment. Otherwise, you end up with a college sophomore who's $10,000 in credit card debt and still bringing his laundry home to you.

The ultimate guiding question for any true Montessori parent is "can/should my child do this task alone?" As parents, it is so easy to get caught up in doing what is convenient and easy for us. Yes, it's quicker to put the shoes on the three year old yourself and rush out the door. But you've stolen a piece of your child's joy and independence when you do. Your seven year old may drop a dinner plate and break it. That's okay. Help him learn how to clean it up. (I broke a plate the other day and I'm 35.)

If you're not sure if a task/chore/skill is age appropriate - ask. Ask other parents you trust and admire. Ask your child's Montessori teacher. Ask your mother. Ask yourself - am I doing this for my child because it's convenient or because I think she can't do it alone?

A great book to read on this specific topic is How To Raise An Amazing Child The Montessori Way. The book is available for $13.60 at Amazon.com. We highly recommend it.

Strike the Imagination - Cultural Studies

2011-08-03T09:08:00.007-05:00

"Our aim is not only to make the child understand, and still less to force him to memorize, but so to touch his imagination as to enthuse him to his innermost core."

There are Montessori phrases that can be confusing at times. One of those phrases is "cultural studies" or "cultural lessons." The easiest way to explain this concept is to say that cultural work refers to anything a child does that is not directly related to language or math work.

More explicitly, during culture work, the child is presented with intimate relationships that exist among all forms of life and this study is meant to spark or "strike" the child's interest and engage the imagination. This process helps with understanding individual pieces of information as they are learned. At young ages, all aspects of culture work are received enthusiastically, as children are eager to learn about the world they live in and how that world works. Children are presented with vast fields of knowledge which they are excited to learn. Later, the seeds of imagination and interest that have been planted will grow and develop into complex, abstract educational work.

Cultural work is the exciting, enticing, fun work that always elicits oooohs, ahhhhs, and wows! from the children. Cultural work is the way children will discover answers to questions such as "how do eyes see?" or "where do clouds come from?" Cultural work is a way for children to express their own personalities and interests because they are able to research and investigate things that interest them.

In short, when your child comes home talking about cultural lessons, cultural studies, or cultural work - ask him what he studied! You'll see your child's face light up as he talks about the new and amazing things he discovered that day.

A Universally Unanswered Question

2011-03-31T11:57:00.009-05:00

Why do we make decisions we know are not good? That we know will leave us unfulfilled and unhappy? We feel better when we make good decisions. And if that fact is so easily and aptly stated, then the universally unanswered question becomes...why do we make poor choices? Good question, huh? One of the most common topics of discussion among people investigating Montessori education for the first time is discipline. Everyone wants to know how we handle discipline. The answer is simple - we want control to come from within the child just as we want the desire to learn to come from within. It's more a matter of teaching self-discipline rather than teachers imposing discipline upon an unruly child. Within the realm of Montessori discipline, we have an innate respect for the child as a human being who is allowed to make choices - both good and bad - and offer the grace for that child to learn how to handle the consequences of those decisions. One of the basic tenants of Montessori discipline is empathy with consequences. In life, there are natural boundaries and expectations. Sometimes those boundaries and expectations can be frustrating, challenging, or make us sad. When a child encounters a boundary or expectation, we extend them the right to openly express their feelings and we empathize with their plight. As adults, we all know how it feels to be frustrated or sad or whatever. We share in the child's emotional state while still enforcing the boundary or expectation. Montessori discipline is often prefaced by statements like:

I understand how frustrating that must be.

That must be really disappointing.

How sad!

I hope that works out for you.

What a challenge!

This important step in the discipline process helps the child learn that we understand how they feel and that their feelings are valid. When we acknowledge a child's emotions, we're teaching them to think about how their choices make them feel and what that choice costs them thus bringing the child one step closer to being able to approach a situation with forethought and self-control.

When was the last time you made a choice that left you feeling haggard, sad, or frustrated. As adults we are very capable of thinking through our decisions and rationally choosing the best path. Yet we still make mistakes daily that leave us disappointed in ourselves. If we, as competent human beings, make such blunders how much more so should we expect young children to do so? We simply cannot hold children to a standard that we, ourselves, cannot adhere to. It is imperative that we approach discipline with empathy and compassion bringing them as close as possible to total self-control. And see if the next generation can discover the answer to this universally unanswered question...

One Parent's Perspective on the Three-Year Cycle

2009-09-21T10:22:00.011-05:00

Below you will find part of an email recently received by a primary teacher. This parent really seems to grasp one reason why Montessorians believe the three-year cycle is so important.

"...[We] talked last night about what a blessing it is to have a teacher who knows our child so deeply, over YEARS, and who is committed to ALL of the students' success. The three-year-cycle is great for the kids (role-modeling, consistency, etc.), but there is another side of it that we don't often consider: Working with the same children for three years gives the teacher a depth of knowledge about each kid (aptitude, personality, learning style, family issues, all that stuff) that can't be attained quickly or easily, and that is vital to ensuring each student is given the best chance for THAT CHILD to succeed.

While keeping in mind that ultimately we are individually responsible for our own learning, I think the three-year cycle provides teachers a wonderful sense of "ownership" of each student's outcomes that promotes the best teaching--which naturally results in both better learning and better enjoyment of learning for the student.

I think one of the problems in public school education is that teachers don't have to live with their own "mistakes" for more than 9 months. That leads some teachers to work mainly with the kids who are easy to work with, while ignoring or marginalizing the challenging kids, knowing that the "problem" kids will be gone in a year anyway. This is totally logical: after all, what can one teacher do to change a kid's lifetime patterns of behavior in only 9 months? Not much. So why try, when there are other kids the teacher can put her limited time and resources into and then actually see positive progress with? The kid who can't get himself with the program? Well, maybe some teacher will be able to help him next year.

In some ways I think this also leads public school teachers to look for excuses for poorly-performing kids' poor performance, instead of diligently attempting to improve those students' performance. But our teachers' deep knowledge of each student not only allows the teachers to recognize when something doesn't seem quite right for that particular student, but the teachers have "enough" time (three years) to work with the student to actually make it seem like a reasonable investment of the teacher's resources. AND if the teacher doesn't, in fact, help the child improve, it is that same teacher who continues to suffer the consequences: after all, they are going to have to "live with" that student for another 2-3 years, and wouldn't that time be more enjoyable if the kid isn't a problem every day? The three-year cycle gives the teachers an incentive that public school teachers can't possibly have.

At any rate, thanks again for everything you do. I'm so impressed by your consistently thoughtful, reflective, honest approach to every single child in the primary classroom. I am grateful every day that my child's education is in your hands."

Building Trust

2009-09-09T11:36:00.005-05:00

Trust is not something that comes naturally to a lot of people...especially where their children are concerned. Yet Montessorians worldwide have, as a new school year started, expected just that from parents - trust. We expect you to trust that we are professional educators, that we have your child's best interest at heart, that if your child is not meeting academic expectations we will communicate that to you in a timely manner, that if your child is unhappy or bored that we will do everything we can to help make it better, and so on.

All too often, though, we demand something we have not earned. As any parent should be, you are protective of your child. You question the motives, beliefs, attitudes, actions, and words of any person your child comes in contact with. Why would we, spending upwards of seven hours per day with your child, expect to be immune to the same, if not more intense, scrutiny that everyone else receives.

At The Montessori School, we strive to maintain an open communication policy. When communication between home and school flows freely, children perform better academically and improve their social skills. We understand that not knowing what is going on in your child's school life can be very frustrating and even scary for parents. We welcome questions and conversations. The more time we spend communicating, the more our mutual trust will grow.

In an effort to be transparent, honest, and forthcoming about everything that takes place at school, we ask a few simple things from you, as parents, to help us earn your trust. If you do not understand something your child's teacher writes or says, ask questions. Don't assume you know why or how something was said if you are uncertain. Don't guess. Do not rely solely on the information your child gives you. If your child tells you something disconcerting, ask the teacher about it. Never infer that a teacher or staff person is questioning your parenting skill or parental authority. Try not to let a situation that concerns you continue for extended periods of time before you communicate with us. Sooner is always better than later.

In reality, we try to follow these same suggestions in our communications with you. And we do have your child's best interest at heart; the more time you spend communicating with us, the easier it will be to believe that to be true.

Montessori Transition - Argument #3

2009-05-05T10:53:00.006-05:00

Montessori is great for preschool but beyond that why should I pay for something I can get for free at public schools?

In today's hard economic times, this is a valid argument for why families leave Montessori after the preschool years. Many families argue that they simply can't afford private education. But within the Montessori world, there are just as many parents who argue that they can't afford NOT to pay for private education.

With approximately 16% of our student body receiving some form of financial aid and the majority of our families falling into the "two-income middle class" designation of American life, talk to any Montessori family and you're likely to hear about how they struggle to pay rising tuition costs. In reality, the approximate cost of nine years of Montessori education (from age 3 to 12) will run $45,000.00. That's a lot of money!

But compare that with the rising cost of a four-year college education which is now running $45,000.00 and just in the last year jumped 10.5% and is expected to keep climbing. There's no way to guesstimate what four years of college will cost in 10 to 15 years when our children get ready to matriculate.

Many of our current families feel very strongly that they are "paying for college now" in that giving their children the skills, abilities, and academic advances afforded through Montessori education will pay dividends later when their children move into high school and begin accumulating high GPAs, honor classes and pre-college credit through AP courses, high ACT or SAT scores, outstanding community service efforts, leadership roles in school clubs and organizations, and all the others things that colleges look for in scholarship candidates.

Every family spends money on things they value be it new cars, housing, vacations, charitable organizations. For our families, you will find that they value education; they are willing to invest in their child's future. And, yes, for many of them it is a sacrifice, but a sacrifice they are willing to make.

Alternative Education

2009-05-05T10:48:00.003-05:00

Check out the recent news story Montessori School Offers Alternative Method of Learning that aired on 40/29 News. The reporter did a nice job of highlighting how Montessori differs from what traditional schools offer.

Purpose and Reason

2009-04-22T11:26:00.004-05:00

Check out the article PURPOSE AND REASON that appeared in a recent edition of The Southwest Times Record. Scott Smith did a great job of explaining what The Montessori School is all about!

Montssori Transition - Sarah's Story

2009-04-08T08:36:00.015-05:00

Boy was I nervous that first day of school! After the warm, wonderful years spent at Montessori with what feels like family, my first born, Jared, was truly going out into the world - junior high school. It was something I had talked about with many of you over the years, but it always felt so far away. As he walked away from my car that day, I felt a pang in my stomach and tears in my eyes. It was finally time to see how this was going to work out. Was he ready? Would he be able to socialize like a "normal" child in this wild new environment? All I could do was watch him walk away and hope for the best.

I worried all day and could not wait to pick him up from this HUGE place full of new kids, new classrooms, new and scary things for both of us. When he walked out at the end of the day with a smile on his face, my nerves calmed (at least a little). He was full of stories about kids he had already met, things he had already seen, teachers he knew he already liked. That was months ago.

Since that time, he has thrown himself in to lots of great activities: band, quiz bowl, BEST (Boosting Engineering Science and Technology). He was admitted to the GATE (Gifted and Talented Education) program. He is even going to space camp this summer. He found (on his own) lots of wonderful friends. The homework has been minimal. His grade are off the charts and his teachers love him. I hear from them routinely that he is very focused and a joy to teach.

I think that the years at Montessori taught him all he needed to know to fit in, in any type of place at any time. Sure, there are things he has seen this year that I never had to face at his age, but he has had no trouble dealing with any situation. I think he knows who he is and is very strong in his convictions. It has been so much better than I could ever have imagined.

I think it turns out that those concerns about "transitioning" are created by us, the parents. We worry so much, but the most important thing to remember is that in the Montessori environment our children are in, all of those pressures of the HUGE school and the HUGE classroom are not there weighing them down. Jared had years of feeling nurtured and secure without the pressures that are already there in most elementary schools. The problems you think they will be facing in junior high don't just magically appear in 7th grade. Most of those students have been dealing with the "sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll" issues since they were in Kindergarten. I think his time at Montessori allowed him to develop the skills he needed to deal with this scary first year of junior high, rather than being thrown in unprepared and unprotected as a young child.

I know that we did the right thing, and we would not exchange one day he spent at Montessori for any experience he could have had in a bigger, more traditional school.

P.S. Jared is already admitted into AP Algebra (9th grade) for his 8th grade year!!!! Way to go, Jared!

Montessori Transition - Argument #2

2009-04-03T09:34:00.006-05:00

The elementary class sizes are so small that I worry about my child's socialization.

Parents who choose to extend their child's Montessori education past the primary level often run into the issue of whether the child will be properly socialized if he attends a school with smaller class sizes than those in traditional public schools. This criticism stems from the idea that the child's ability to relate with others is hampered, if not disabled, when he is absent from a large school-based peer group. Many parents contending this argument hold the idea that socialization only refers to how well their child interacts with and gets along with other children. Therefore, it is extremely important that we begin this discussion with a clear definition of what the term socialization refers to.

Socialization is a learning process that begins shortly after birth. Human infants are born without any culture. They must be transformed by their parents, teachers, and others into culturally and socially adept animals. The general process of acquiring culture is referred to as socialization. Childhood, obviously, is the period of the most intense and the most crucial socialization. It is then that we acquire language and learn the fundamentals of our culture. We also have experiences that teach us lessons and potentially lead us to alter our expectations, beliefs, values, and personality. Children learn core values such as love, empathy, honesty, fairness, respect, responsibility, optimism/faith through observation, interaction, behavioral lessons and literature, but most importantly they truly internalize these values through their relationships with the significant adults in their lives and through practicing those values with their peers under adult supervision. Simply spending a lot of time with a lot of children will never properly socialize a child.

Given this viewpoint, let's now consider the kind of “socialization” that children receive in a more traditional school setting with those seemingly-desirable larger peer groups. In a typical school setting, elementary children are grouped by age and, in some cases ability level, in a classroom with around 30 of their peers. They spend approximately five to six hours a day with these same children and one teacher. The main form of communication they engage in during the day is passive. They are told what to do, when to do it, and how it should be done, and deviation from mainstream-ness is considered a discipline problem. More often than not, successful performance is defined as keeping up with or outdoing the other children. Teachers have little or no time to devote to individual children and almost everything is geared toward the middle or the average. Time spent away from the classroom is limited to small breaks, including lunch and recess, and usually lasts 30 minutes or less. This small amount of non-academically-focused time typically involves interaction with large numbers of other children and a very limited amount of adult supervision. Separated from appropriate adult influence and interaction (modeling), typically it is the bad examples that are followed rather than the good examples. Constant exposure to the immaturities and abuses of other children does not effectively bring about the appropriate aspects of socialization.

On the flip side, consider the Montessori environment. Children are in constant interaction with people of and outside their age groups, including many adults. The children develop relationships that are built on mutual respect and collaboration. The three-year cycles allow for a greater, more expanded relationship between the children and the teachers. They have greater freedom to communicate and explore the dynamics of relationships and they are engaged in creating culture for their classroom. Time spent away from the study of particular academic subjects involves practical activities such as washing dishes, cleaning, exercising, gardening, art, community meetings where students participate in the determining of appropriate behavior for their environment, and more. This social interaction can constitute up to two hours of their day. Each child’s performance is based on discovering their own capabilities and achieving their personal best, not on an arbitrary comparison with other children. Working on socialization and refining a child's social skills is an essential part of Montessori education.

The Montessori approach to educating the whole child, rather than just the academic child, means that the school works just as hard as the family to properly socialize the child. A Montessori education fosters empathy, compassion, and respect toward the needs and feelings of others. We strive to teach children that they have a personal commitment to act in a way that makes a positive difference in the lives of others and in the world. Children who have the benefit of a Montessori education acquire a positive self-image, independence, and self-assurance. Upon completing a Montessori education, students have all the values and attitudes that pay off in the more traditional settings where they will spend their adult lives. They enjoy people and know how to develop strong friendships. They generally follow rules and act responsibly. They live from a basic sense of self-respect and rarely get themselves into self-destructive situations. Their lives tend to reflect both joy and dignity. And these are priceless lessons, speaking to the true heart of a well-socialized child, which they will carry with them throughout their lifetime.

Regardless of how logical this argument may seem, most parents still struggle with this myth, that to be properly socialized children must spend lots of time with a large group of their peers. This is simply not true. Keeping children in isolated groups of children is one of the least effective ways to ensure that proper socialization occurs. But another problem with exposing children to large peer groups before their social and moral development is solidified is that it heightens peer dependence. We all naturally want the approval of those around us. Children who are in traditional schools are around lots of other children most of the time; therefore, they look to other children for their main source of approval. In order to gain the approval of a group, it is necessary to conform to the behaviors and norms of that group. Thus, traditionally-schooled children, by the very nature of the design of traditional school socialization, will grow up dependent on their peers for approval. It doesn't really matter that they are eventually told to "resist peer pressure." This is like putting a child in a room filled with candy and letting him eat all he wants, and then, a few years later, telling him not to eat any candy: his habits are well developed and will not be easily changed.

Yes, many children go to traditional schools and come out as fine young adults, but that is in spite of traditional school socialization, not because of it. Educational and development theorists and even politicians lament daily that our public school system is “broken,” that in order to produce graduates who are going to be successful (in life as well as in their chosen careers), schools must offer more integrated curricula, emphasize skills such as cooperative decision-making and problem solving, and nurture moral development by doing things such as requiring students to work out common rules based on fairness.

In other words, Montessori classrooms are a better reflection of society and place greater emphasis on the acquisition of the skills and characteristics necessary to be a successful participant in society than do traditional schools. That social skills – really, practical life skills –come automatically from immersion in a larger peer group, one with minimal adult moderation, is, frankly, unbelievable.

Montessori Transition - Argument #1

2009-03-11T11:29:00.004-05:00

Montessori students have so much freedom that I worry about how they will deal with being asked to sit in a seat and do a specific assignment when they transition to a traditional school. (Please notice that this is not a question about academics; this is a question about whether the child will be able to conform to the rigidity required by traditional schools.)

Starting at the age of 5 or 6 years, traditional schools expect children to sit in chairs, hold writing utensils, and stare at white pages under florescent lights for long periods of time. Without even touching the academics of traditional schools, we already have a major problem. The expectations they place on children of this age are unrealistic and exhibit a clear lack of acknowledgement or understanding of child development. What they are asking of these young children is physically painful for them; their bodies and muscles (yes, even eye muscles) are still developing at this stage. To deny them movement and useful things to do with their bodies and minds is like denying them oxygen. They are also asked to control their bodily needs in ways that are nearly impossible for them. And without speaking to the academics being offered, these youngest students are in no way engaged in what is going on the classroom. At this crucial period of their lives when they are most active and have the most energy, they are asked to sit passively and let someone else do all the work for them. So many young children in traditional schools are considered discipline problems because they won't sit still, won't do their worksheets, have terrible fine motor skills (i.e. bad handwriting), and on and on the complaints roll out from their teachers. Is it any wonder why? Traditional schools are not addressing their first and foremost fundamental needs for movement and activity. The most basic behavioral expectation in traditional schools is exactly the same for a 5 year old, a 9 year old, a 13 year old, and an 18 year old - sit in your desk, be still, be quiet, and focus on what's put in front of you by someone else. In stark contrast, Montessori acknowledges and celebrates this all-important aspect of child development and, in continuity with their own developmental needs, leads children to a point where they are empowered to meet more rigid demands and expectations.

Our primary students have freedom of movement. Everything they do involves movement. In the primary classroom, there are very few tables and chairs. A majority of their work is done on the floor (where they are most comfortable) and absolutely everything is tactical and concrete. Everything they do can be touched, picked up, tested all over, handled, etc. When you visit our primary classroom, you are amazed by how busy they are. Their minds and hands are constantly busy. Their bodily needs are also still very strong at this point in their lives. When their body finally registers the need for a restroom, it's needed NOW. When they get hungry, they need food NOW. They have very little control over their bodies and thus are given complete control over how and when to meet those needs.

Lower Elementary is, in itself, a transitional time for our students. As these students reach the age of six and continuing through the age of nine, they enter into the middle stages of child development and their need for movement and activity begins to decrease. They become more comfortable sitting in chairs, although there are still plenty of times when they would rather be on the floor. Their concentration expands and we find they can focus intently on something for long periods of time. For the most part, their fine motor skills are well-developed so the need to handle everything begins to decrease as well, although it is still important that they periodically have things to do with their hands throughout the day besides just hold a pencil. They still need lots of time to run, play, and expend energy so they get an hour for recess each day to break up their longer, more intense periods of work. This time is a very important break for the mind and the body. They are also starting to learn to be the masters of their own bodies rather than letting their bodily needs master them and the demand for immediate attention to personal needs diminishes.

In Upper Elementary and by the time a student reaches the age of nine the need for movement is drastically decreased. It is not uncommon to find upper elementary students sitting in one place working for well over an hour without ever moving. They are comfortable with books, worksheets, and other means of abstractly absorbing information and have lost the need for busy hands. They have reached a stage where sitting in the floor is no longer fun and comfortable; they prefer tables and chairs. They still play vigorously at recess for short periods of time but they start to enjoy times of just visiting with friends or teachers. It becomes more of a break for the mind and less for the body. So by this stage of child development they are quickly reaching the point of being ready to face the demands traditional school place on students. Their ability to concentrate for long periods of time has been honed and their bodily needs such as restroom needs, hunger, thirst are well-controlled. They don't need endless amounts of movement. Essentially, the students have reached a stage of development where these demands are actually age appropriate.

As I have explained the progression of the Montessori program as contrasted against traditional schools which treat all children the same regardless of age, I hope you can clearly see that when students are developmentally ready to deal with being asked to sit still, learn abstractly, and do things a certain way they will have absolutely no problem doing so. Students over the age of 12 should not have problems dealing with the rigid behavioral demands traditional schools place on them - even Montessori students - because they are developmentally ready and able to meet those demands head on.

Montessori Transition

2009-03-11T09:49:00.007-05:00

Disclaimer: It's going to take a series of posts to address this topic. This post is simply the introduction!

One of the questions I deal with most often is, "What happens when a child leaves Montessori?" And the underlying fear or skepticism I hear in their voice and see in their eyes is, in all honesty, hard for me to comprehend. I patiently answer their questions, listen to what they've heard from other people, and reply with my standard responses all the while trying very hard to conceal the fact that I absolutely do not understand their concern. One reason I think it is difficult for me to empathize with their fear is because I am educator who has seen both sides of the situation and I have complete faith in the Montessori method of education. Most of the people who pose this question to me are, of course, parents who want the absolute best for their child. That I can empathize with and that is why I often approach this question as a parent rather than as an educator; it gives me the ability to remember where they are coming from, why they are so concerned, and to tailor my responses to assuage their fears.

But since this a blog and not a conversation, I think the best way to address the overwhelming concern people express about students transitioning out of the Montessori school and into a traditional school is to systematically work through the myths, misconceptions, and misunderstandings people have about traditional education, Montessori education, and child development. I am not going to discuss transitioning at the Kindergarten or 3rd grade level so the majority of my information will speak to children who remain in Montessori through the 6th grade and then transition into junior high at 7th grade; however, parents considering transitioning at other times may also find this information helpful. In the next few days, I will be post a series of arguments that I hear about how and why children will struggle when they transition to a traditional school. I welcome any feedback you have on this topic and also ask that you let me know if you have a specific concern about transitioning that you would like me to address.

The Montessori Freedom Myth

2009-03-09T09:28:00.005-05:00

Freedom is one of the foundational tenants of the Montessori Philosophy; it is also one of the most often misunderstood tenants. In a Montessori classroom, there is the freedom to choose one's own work; the freedom to work alone or with a partner; even the freedom to simply sit back and take stock. Montessorians believe that a child's freedom is what fuels the learning process. Yet it is precisely this element of freedom that so many parents misunderstand. Many parents believe that their child can simply do whatever he pleases; this thought process is inaccurate and misinterprets the heart of Montessori.

The Montessori method acknowledges the importance of adult guidance in a child's learning environment. At the same time, however, Montessori capitalizes on the special traits inherent in every child, which often go ignored in traditional educational settings. Central to the Montessori approach is the conviction that, in the proper environment, children free to choose their own activities will seek to occupy themselves productively. For some children this comes naturally; for others it is a learned behavior. Regardless, it is something we strive to help all children accomplish.

Freedom in a Montessori classroom brings to light a subtle but important contrast between learning and discovery. If a teacher says to a child, for instance, "drop this ball and observe the force of gravity," the child may follow the instruction and absorb, on some level, the information presented. If, on the other hand, the child performs an activity of her choice and in so doing happens to discover gravity, that discovery will ignite a spark of understanding that lodges deeply in her consciousness. The freedom to learn through discovery elevates understanding to a significantly higher level. Thus, we create an environment in which materials are presented attractively, and we respect the child's right to choose freely among them, because in so doing she satisfies her own need for productive activity and her desire for understanding. She also builds a solid foundation of self-sufficiency and independence. Further, her freedom allows her to experience the exhilaration of personal discovery. This freedom comes from the work she chooses to engage in, not from simply doing whatever she wants.

Freedom in a Montessori classroom is not without limitations. The freedom of the child is guided by three principles: respect for self, respect for others, and respect for the environment. A child must not interfere with other children's work. For example, a child would be corrected (or his freedom limited by an adult) if he were talking loudly or running through the classroom. A child found playing in the bathroom during work time would be reminded that we respect ourselves by giving our best effort at the tasks we've set for ourselves for the day. Work materials must be returned to their proper places and handled appropriately or a child may find he can no longer choose to work with that material. If a child is disruptive during a group activity or discussion, he will be removed from the group. The three principles of respect are simple and reasonable and provide a sound set of boundaries and structure for the children so they know what to expect and what is expected.

There are even times when it may be necessary to remove the child's choices from him for a time or to establish classroom procedures that benefit the collective group but infringe on the freedom of the individual. Remember that Montessori is about preparing children for life. In life, there are rules, restrictions, and regulations. Many of our laws infringe on the freedom of the individual but have the collective interest of the human race at their foundation. Take speed limits for example. The speed limit restricts my right to drive as fast as I want, but is put in place for the safety of all people. If I choose to ignore this regulation often enough, eventually someone will take this choice away from me and make it for me, essentially saying, "Since you cannot respect other people and their safety, your ability to choose to drive slowly and responsibly has been removed from you and we revoke your driving license for a period of time." Compare the choice of driving too fast and recklessly with driving carefully and choosing how I get from Point A to Point B. As long as I obey traffic laws, no one is going to infringe on my right to take a certain route from my house to work every morning. That is my choice and the choice I make does not affect others.

Let's apply this balance of freedom in the classroom where there are procedures that serve the collective interest of the group but infringe on the freedom of the student. In our elementary classes, for example, there are no bathrooms. The bathrooms are located in the hallway and accommodate two people at a time. In order to ensure a fair and timely bathroom break for all students as needed, bathroom passes are used. To go to the restroom, a student must have a bathroom pass (there are two passes for girls and two passes for boys). If a student needs to go to the restroom and there is no pass, she must wait. This procedure infringes on the freedom of the child in that she cannot go to bathroom whenever she chooses unless a pass is available; however, this procedure benefits the entire class. It stops students from gathering in the bathroom in larger groups that would be more likely to play or visit rather than focusing on their bodily needs and returning to the task at hand. It stops students from wasting time in the bathroom. Most children know that it is highly likely that someone else is waiting for the bathroom pass so they return to the classroom more quickly than they would otherwise. Ideally, we would like for our elementary children to have bathrooms in their classroom, but because they do not, the individual freedom of one child is superseded by what is best for the entire group of students.

That is what Dr. Montessori meant when she said, "The liberty of the child should have as its limit the collective interest." Dr. Montessori never abdicated the authority of the adult to the freedom of the child; in fact, to do so, she said, would prove disastrous for the child. In her own words: "to give a child liberty is not to abandon him to himself or neglect him. The help we give must not amount to a passive indifference to all the difficulties he will encounter; rather we must support his development with prudent and affectionate care." Instead, just as is true with much of Montessori, the adults are there to appropriately guide the child in such a way that she finds herself free to choose things that interest her and are in her best interest.

The Montessori classroom offers the child freedom of movement and choice of activity, but with this freedom comes responsibilities to self, to others, and to the whole class. To say that a child can do whatever pleases him gives the freedom without the responsibility and does a great disservice to the child. It is extremely important that as Montessori parents we understand the subtle but significant difference.

Do You Remember...?

2009-03-05T13:20:00.004-06:00

I love this time of year. This is the time of year when I get to spend a good portion of my time at work talking about the phenomenal Montessori method of education. You're probably thinking, "Isn't that what you do most of the time anyway? Isn't that your job?" And in some ways you're right. But this is different.

This is the time of year when new families, who know very little if anything about Montessori, come and tour our school. Many of them are checking out various schools. They're doing their homework and making all the right steps to choosing a school for their child. They're unsure, they're undecided, they're worried about making the best choice for their family. And then they come to The Montessori School.

I usually spend anywhere from 15 to 20 minutes with a prospective family in my office. I have an 80/20 rule that I try to live by where I try to only talk 20% of the time and let them talk 80% of the time. If you think that I should be trying to sell them on the school, we disagree. I can't sell Montessori; no matter how much I talk, they'll never buy it. Because Montessori isn't a product. It isn't merchandise. It's a philosophy, a thought process, a lifestyle. As I take time to listen to this family talk about their child, their family, their educational beliefs, I can begin to get a sense of how Montessori will fit into their lives and to tailor the tour to meet the needs and desires they express.

After we chat for a while, I take them into the classrooms and watch for the "Ah ha!" moment to come. As we move through the environments, I can begin to see the wonder and amazement in their eyes. They are awed by what the children are learning, how they are interacting with teachers and peers, the works on the shelves, and everything else that goes into a Montessori environment. You can almost see the wheels turning as their mind rewinds to their education experience and how different these classrooms seem to be. And, more often than not, by the time we make our way back to the office, they are so excited to be making an interview appointment for their child.

Do you remember that moment you had, the moment when you realized that Montessori is what you wanted for you child? I encourage you to think back to that moment every once in a while. Try to re-envision the awe and wonder you felt the first time you truly experienced a Montessori environment. And share that with a friend. Encourage them to come discover for themselves why you made the Montessori choice. I can't wait to meet them and help create that moment for them.

What I Like Most About Montessori

2009-02-26T12:59:00.006-06:00

Today our students made a list of what they like most about Montessori. It's such a great list and really says a lot about what our children get from a Montessori education. This list starts with our youngest learners and goes through our oldest. Watch as their answers change from concrete to abstract - just like their Montessori education!

Our tots like Fridays, lunch, their friends, playing, and painting.

Our primary students like their teachers, Accelerated Reader books, color box three, the bank, the 10 board, the bead stair, nouns and verbs, the 100 board, BOB books, the puzzles, the cutting works, the calendar work, the flag ceremony, the hanging beads, writing word families, working on chains, word building, the movable alphabet, the U.S. map, stamping, practical life, push pinning, frame papers, and storytelling.

Our lower elementary students like time tests, the large bead frame, spelling, checker board, math operations, function of words, grammar boxes, adjective cards, live animals, reading skills, S.R.A.s, stamp game division, stamp game subtraction, rhyming words and verbs, fractions, and punctuation.

Our upper elementary students like the materials, the good teachers, the challenges, the self-selection of personal research, the group projects, the uniqueness of the school, and the privileges they get as the oldest kids in the school. The like that they are independent, impromptu, responsible, good time managers, respectful, and intelligent because they attend a Montessori school. The believe their school is inspirational, welcoming, and known for grace, courtesy, love, hope, and peace. They listed the familiarity they have with the staff and other adults as one of their favorite things. They say it is a comforting place where individuality is respected and fundamental needs are met. They like that they can have snacks in class. They think their school is a special place with great friends.

And, just for fun, here's a short list of what some of our parents said during a recent survey about what a Montessori education means for their child. It means:

independence
a chance to use all the senses to learn
getting the foundation they need to start the educational process for life
a peaceful environment with individual guidance
the chance to learn by doing
a love of learning
confidence
not treating a child as a test score
learning rather than memorizing
helping a child have pride in herself and to reach her greatest potential
attention to individual pace of learning
joyful learning and a natural curiosity
learning in a fun and constructive way
a happy and well-balanced child

It's been an awesome week celebrating 102 years of Montessori; and there's obviously a lot to celebrate! Happy Birthday, Montessori!

Montessori Picnic

2009-02-25T14:32:00.003-06:00

Today was our picnic lunch celebrating Montessori Education Week. We had a good turn out and it seemed everyone had a great time. And the weather cooperated...quite a feat for late February. It was a little breezy but otherwise great. The kids were so excited. Every which way we turned this morning was another kid saying, "Is it time for the picnic???"

Community events like these are so important, not only for the children to have fun but also for the parents to feel connected. I know that not everyone could take off from work today to come to a picnic, but it is important that you make an effort to get involved at the school. Events like today's picnic give you ample opportunity to watch your child interact with his peers, get to know other parents, and communicate with the teachers. In fact, there are many good reasons and opportunities for you to get involved in your child's education. Did you know that parental involvement has a strong, positive effect on student achievement?

If you couldn't join us for today's picnic, be on the look out for your next opportunity to get involved at The Montessori School. Your child absolutely loves it when you show interest in their school. Believe us, we hear all about!

Hand Crafted

2009-02-24T10:45:00.004-06:00

There are many Montessorians who believe that, had it not been for World War II, the Montessori method would have become the predominant model for U.S. schools. Unfortunately, the turn of events that led the U.S. into the second World War also led our nation farther and farther away from the basic principles of a Montessori education.

Did you ever watch Little House on the Prairie? This was my favorite television show growing up. It's one of the best views into the one room school house that was the beginning of the American education system. And what did you see in that classroom...multi-age groups, children learning at their own pace, an interwoven and integrated curriculum that was preparing children for life. It was Montessori.

With the birth of the assembly line in the early 20th century and then the factory mentality of World War II, Americans chose to do away with the one room school house for a more "effective" model. We began to streamline our schools. It became imperative that we tell teachers what to teach so that every child learns the same material. We built bigger schools and put all children who were the same age in one room to more effectively impart appropriate knowledge. We did away with learning things that interest us and focused more on memorizing things other people told us were important to know. And we began a systematic "tossing aside" any child coming down the conveyor belt who didn't fit the mold.

It saddens me that we've turned our education system into a factory line...cranking out inferior products in large quantities as fast as we possibly can. I don't know about you, but my children are special and unique. They are one-of-a-kinds and I prefer that their education help handcraft them rather than hard pressing them into a mold that doesn't fit them or throwing them out because they are different from the rest of the models rolling off the assembly line.

Think about it, when it comes to your child's education, do you want the cheap factory version or the handcrafted version? I choose Montessori.

Blogging Up is Hard to Do

2008-12-01T10:09:00.004-06:00

I've realized something about myself that is hard to admit - especially in such a public forum as the school blog...but confession is good for the soul, right? So here goes:

I'm not good at blogging.

There, I said it. I think the hardest thing about blogging is the consistency required. I think of things I want to write about, things I think our school community would like to read about and then promptly get distracted by other things and never get around to blogging. (Maybe you feel obligated to read the blog and are actually happy that I don't blog consistently. If so, please don't tell me - that would seriously hurt my feelings.)

Training yourself, disciplining yourself to do something consistently is a skill. It is a skill that often sets people apart whether they are more disciplined in their exercise routine and eating habits resulting in better health or their finances resulting in opportunities to be more generous to those in need or having extra money during times of crisis or in their daily meditation practices making them more balanced and in tune with their feelings and emotions.

Think about the people you know that you would describe as consistent or disciplined. How does that characteristic play out in their everyday lives? What is it about that person that sets them apart in your mind as "disciplined?" Is that something you desire? For yourself? For your child?

Montessori is about being consistent and disciplined. Children are taught from very early ages to consistently approach a task until success or completion. As Dr. Montessori said, "The more the capacity to concentrate is developed, the more often the profound tranquility in work is achieved, then the clearer will be the manifestation of discipline within the child." What this truly means for your Montessori student is that the work he delves into everyday is teaching him to be disciplined, not externally by false motivators like grades or stickers or even the praise of adults but more importantly self-disciplined by internal motivators like a sense of accomplishment and pride, a desire to grow and learn new things, and the pure joy of discovering his fullest potential. And all that aside from the actual academic learning that is taking place.

Even though blogging is hard for me to do consistently, I find joy (and thus motivation) in sharing small insights into the world of Montessori with you - hopefully helping you more fully understand your choice of Montessori education for your child and better equipping you to explain that choice to others.

I'll try to be more consistent but as the old adage goes "blogging up is hard to do."

Actually that was a song by Neil Sedaka called "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" which was an awesome song from the 60s - I just love oldies. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbad22CKlB4.

Community Time

2008-10-28T11:19:00.004-05:00

I'll be the first to admit that I'm biased toward the Montessori method of education. Personally, I see what it does for my children academically, socially, emotionally, and physically. Professionally, it most closely aligns with what I believe as an educational expert about curriculum and instruction. But as I sat and watched the Lower Elementary community time today, I was almost moved to tears.

Mrs. Hines tapped a small bell that peeled softly throughout the classroom and called the community meeting to order. The children eagerly put away what they were doing and gathered on the rug, faces expectantly upturned to their guide.

She began in a very quite voice by asking if there were any acknowledgements to be made today. Immediately half a dozen hands went into the air followed by a myriad of praise for their classmates and teachers. "Anissa helped me with my double digit multiplication today when I forgot one of my math facts." "Ms. Robison helped me read a word I didn't recognize." "Leighton spent over 20 minutes helping me look for a 1,000 tile I had misplaced." "Fooad helped me find the right answer in my SRA." And on and on they went for almost 10 minutes, exhorting one another and publicly thanking those who had helped them.

After acknowledgements, it was time for sharing. Three children chose to share today. A third level student created a poster board about her ballet research project and shared all she had learned with her friends, a first level student wanted to read a story she had written, and a second year student had been to Dallas to see the King Tut exhibit and wanted to share what she had seen and learned. Two of the sharers were confident - simply sharing their garnered knowledge with others, while one was very shy - choosing to share a self-created work with others, hoping they liked what she wrote. I was amazed as the students raptly listened and then asked questions. They were respectful, attentive, and excited to hear from their classmates and learn new things.

Finally, Mrs. Hines brought community time to a close with class announcements including details about tomorrow's field trip. Instead of just talking to the students, however, she prompted their involvement in the announcements by asking them questions like "what special event do we have planned for tomorrow? what is appropriate attire for a trip to a farm? and what does it mean to be a representative of our school when we are on a trip?" The students responded appropriately, asked a few questions, and then were dismissed for lunch time.

What about this almost brought you to tears??? is probably what you're thinking right now. Well, stop and think for a moment. How many children, teenagers, or adults do you know that can't acknowledge good things about other people, have terrible listening skills, and no deductive reasoning whatsoever. As I sat there and watch our children have these ideas reinforced (and knowing that happens on a daily basis) I began to truly understand what a privilege a Montessori education is.

In traditional schools where it is all about the test scores, teachers can't even take time to properly teach the material - they simply fling it out there for immediate memorization and regurgitation. Nothing, not even the academic stuff, is being learned. I almost can't even continue typing as I think about what your child learned at Montessori today aside from the academic stuff. Did your child touch language, math, science, and history work today? Yes, and in a more meaningful, relevant way. But more importantly today your child learned again that it's just as important to be a decent human being - respectful, kind, compassionate, courteous, gracious, generous, patient, loving, empathic - with convictions and the strength to stand for what is right.

I'm not saying that academics are not important; as an educator it would be blasphemous for me to even suggest such a thing. In fact, as a staff we are continuing to refine the way we report progress to parents - trying to find the best way to help you feel confident that your child is moving forward, learning, and growing in every important aspect of their development. All I'm trying to point out is what a privilege it is that your child attends a Montessori school. When you find yourself obsessing over all the stuff you think your child might be missing by being in a "nontraditional" school, take a moment to think about all that they are not missing.

I don't feel like my children are missing anything; I wholly believe that they are gaining more. And I am grateful they have that opportunity. But I'm biased, right?

Everybody Makes Mistakes

2008-10-09T10:00:00.007-05:00

"Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days..." Yes, I know I just started the blog with lyrics from a Hannah Montana song. But "nobody's perfect! I gotta work it...again and again 'til I get it right." Sorry, I'll stop.

What lessons are you teaching your child about making mistakes, failure, criticism, success, and self worth? Either directly or indirectly, you are laying the lifelong foundation for these principles in your child's life today. Every day. Are you sure you're laying the right foundational blocks in the right place in the right way? Let's talk about what Montessorians believe about mistakes and how they are dealt with in the classroom.

One thing Montessori children learn from an early age is that repetition brings mastery. Very few Montessori lessons can be accomplished correctly and mastered in a single attempt. This successive progression toward a larger goal begins teaching children at an early age how to take the risks necessary to achieve success - not that success is a required result for every attempt. Children then begin to internalize the ideology that failures are experiences from which to learn from and build upon rather than defeats. Also, most Montessori lessons have a built in "control of error" brilliantly designed by Dr. Montessori to "...lead the child to apply his reasoning power to work." Montessori students learn over time that mistakes are not to be feared; they are not criticized or ridiculed by others when they do something wrong. Mistakes may often go unnoticed by others or might even be corrected quietly by peers in collaborative engagement. As children advance through the Montessori program their self worth grows in proportion to their repeated successes.

Do you consider your child a failure if he does not get something right on the first attempt? Or do you encourage his repeated attempts and then praise success when it comes? Do you wait for him to discover his own mistakes and self-correct or do you belligerently or embarrassingly point them out for him? What do you personally believe about success and failure and what do your actions say to your children about those beliefs? There are lots of things to consider when rearing children but dealing with successes, failures, and mistakes cannot be left to chance or haphazardness. We must deliberately and with forethought seize daily moments to talk age-appropriately with our children about personal growth, making the most of failure as a learning opportunity, how to accept criticism and deal with difficult people, and keeping on keeping on until success is achieved. We must be conscious of our own thoughts and actions about failure, carefully considering the model we are setting for them to follow.

So as Hannah Montana sings, "you live and you learn it and if I mess it up sometimes...Nobody's perfect! Next time you feel like... it's just one of those days...when you just can't seem to win...if things don't turn out the way you plan, FIGURE SOMETHING ELSE OUT! Don't stay down! Try again! YEAH!"

Don't you just love Hannah Montana!?

What Would You Do With An Extra Hour?

2008-09-25T09:31:00.007-05:00

What would you do if you had an extra hour of time every Friday? Go home early? Leave an hour earlier for your weekend get-a-way? Go get a massage or your hair done? Catch up on some leisurely reading you've been wanting to do like rereading Twilight* for the third time (sorry if you're not a Twilight fan and have no idea what I'm talking about)?

Let me tell you what our staff does with their extra hour of time every Friday after we dismiss your child at 2:00 p.m.

Because a Montessori teacher's class time is strictly devoted to meeting the needs of the children, the early dismissal on Friday gives her the much needed opportunity to plan, record progress, and keep the website up-to-date. Unlike traditional teachers who are allotted 45 minutes to one hour of prep time per day, our teachers receive no such "down time" to accomplish daily tasks, leaving these things to be done after school or on the weekends. On a regular weekday, some teachers stay until well after 4:00 p.m., or choose to work later that evening from home, completing the daily tasks required to keep a Montessori environment functioning properly. Friday is no different and the extra hour they are given is like a lifeline to them, giving them time to catch up on, evaluate, and prepare for the next week of all the multi-tasking tasks they must take care of.

Preparing the environment for the next week is also a vital part of what the teachers do on Friday. They take this opportunity to prepare new works, straighten the classroom, assess what works need to be removed or added to the shelves, repair damaged works, and to evaluate the order and sequence of the works. Also consider how much more individualized Montessori is than a traditional classroom and how much extra planning that requires - ensuring that the individual lessons required for each child are properly prepared and placed on the shelves.

We also use Friday for our regularly scheduled staff and team meetings. Coming together each week as a staff and a team of educators to discuss continuity throughout all environments, school/family communication strategies, short-term and long-term staff goals, and curricular and extracurricular activities is vital to the life of the school and the academic progress of your child. Whether it is the entire staff discussing how to best keep parents abreast of academic progress or the latest Montessori research about teaching spelling or just the primary teachers discussing their classroom scheduling and parent contacts that need to be made, this time together is invaluable to the morale, stability, and sustainability of the staff.

So what could you do with your extra hour of time every Friday after we dismiss your child at 2:00 p.m.?

If you're still at work, or for any other reason unable to pick up your child, you can simply continue with what you're doing knowing that your child is engaged in fun and exciting after school activities. Mrs. Lange and Ms. Robison ensure every Friday that the children are having a blast either learning how to crochet, make grilled cheese sandwiches, or a host of other incredibly entertaining pursuits.

You could use this time to schedule doctor/dentist appointments or other such events that would normally cause a child to miss important class time.

You could arrange a play date with some of your child's friends. Go to the park or go bowling. If you have children in other schools, use this extra hour as special "one-on-one" time with your Montessori student, making a special trip to get ice cream or something where the two of you can visit about what's going on in his life. You could plan an early departure for a family weekend get-a-way. Take your student to the public library and check out some books. There is no end to what you and your child could do during this extra hour you have together.

OR you could read Twilight* (for the first or third time) and spend an hour with Edward. I, for one, would completely understand if you made that choice.

*The references to Twilight in this blog in no way represent an endorsement of this work of fiction by The Montessori School. Rather it is a representation of the sad addiction of one woman to the brain candy/cult phenom known as the Twilight saga. If you haven't read it, you simply wouldn't understand.

Global Education

2008-09-18T09:34:00.004-05:00

Montessori is not so much about academics as it is about education for life. This is a phrase that we often use when trying to explain the Montessori philosophy to prospective families. It's one of the many, many things that often draws people's interest to a Montessori education for their children. As a society, we are realizing more and more that being smart isn't enough if one can't function in a productive and meaningful way that contributes to the global good.

As Montessori parents we often want to know that our children are learning how to learn, but also that they are learning how to take part in the efforts to better our world. We want to give our children a vision of the world that is bigger than Fort Smith or Arkansas or the United States of America. We want to lessen the effects of their egocentricity and broaden their possibilities for impacting good across the globe.

Education, in its purest form, is enlightenment - exposing children to ideas, concepts, philosophies, and ways of doing things that bring them to a point of decision making. What do I believe about what I have learned and what will I do with that knowledge? Without incorporating information about the global society we live in and how each person tangibly contributes to that society, we are not properly enlightening our children.

Embrace The Montessori School's efforts to give your children a global education. Check out this website to find ways that you can reinforce these ideologies in your home. Together, we can raise a generation that exudes compassion, generosity, tolerance, and contribution. As Dr. Maria Montessori said so we believe, "Let us give the child a vision of the whole universe...for all things are part of the universe, and are connected with each other to form one whole unity."

The Whole Truth

2008-09-16T13:38:00.001-05:00

My mom and dad are getting a divorce and I'm going to live with my aunt.

My mom is pregnant and I'm going to have a baby brother.

Well...the police came to our house and Daddy had to go away with the policeman.

My mom never cooks for us. We eat cookies for dinner every night and I usually have a bowl of ice cream for breakfast.

You cannot even begin to imagine the stories we hear at school from children. One of the above scenarios was true (I won't tell you which one but suffice to say that someone did actually end up in jail) but the rest are false. So it makes us wonder, what do you hear at home about us that may or may not be true? Children have been known to manipulate a situation to their benefit (gasp!). It's a natural tendency in all human beings - using a portion of the truth, or sometimes an outright lie, to justify some need or want. The problem lies in the fact that this is not teaching a child to appropriately handle truths, accurately express feelings, and cooperatively create positive solutions to difficult circumstances. And yes, these are learned behaviors, not innate ones.

Surprisingly, children quickly learn the buzz words that push the buttons of adults in their lives. At school, things that generally get a rise out of a teacher include stories of neglect, disruption in the nuclear family, physical abuse, or other such social travesties. At home, things that generally get a rise out of a parent include stories of unfairness, lack of academic progress, bullying, or other educational travesties. Rarely do these stories get at the heart of what is truly bothering the child. Children frequently have trouble verbalizing what is bothering them. Perhaps mom and dad had an argument, but she tells the teacher mom and dad are divorcing. Possibly he had trouble with a difficult assignment, but he tells his parents that the teacher is treating him unfairly. Although not in anyway malicious, such a deviance avoids the heart of the problem - something is bothering the child and it needs to be dealt with.

There are several steps we take at school to ensure that any issue is properly dealt with. Of course, any hint of child abuse or neglect is to be reported immediately; however good judgment and some common sense go a long way when dealing with children. We try to:

1. Encourage the child to tell the entire story, prompting him with phrases such as start at the beginning; what happened next?; what caused you to feel ___________?; when did you start to feel _________?; what were _______'s exact words.

2. Avoid open-ended and leading questions such as did ________ say mean things to you?; did ________ touch you or hit you?

Children most often respond with an affirmative if they are in a difficult or uncomfortable situation because they often think a "yes" is what the adult wants to hear. You can get a child to confirm almost anything if you word it correctly. The easiest way to avoid this is to NOT ask yes or no questions. Ask questions that require a more lengthy response.

3. Walk the child through possible resolutions to the problem: what could you have done differently?; what would happen if you ____________?; how would you feel if ______________?

In the end, if we still believe the child is telling the whole truth and the issue needs to be addressed more formally, we contact the person(s) who can help clarify any misunderstandings or give further insight into the situation. We try to never jump to conclusions. On the whole, it is our faith in you, as parents, that often keeps us from believing the wild and sometimes far-fetched stories your children tell about you.

But I will let you wonder if it was your child who told us that "Mom locked Dad out of the house last night and HE WAS NAKED!"

Being Excused

2008-09-11T09:59:00.002-05:00

A very common phrase around The Montessori School is "please be excused." This phrase is used from teacher to student and student to student. It is modeled and encouraged in every classroom on campus. As we continually strive to build a strong foundation of grace and courtesy towards others, this phrase is the embodiment of so many things we want our children to internalize - empowerment to speak up for oneself and make needs known, extending another human being kindness with words even when what's being asked isn't optional, and learning to make good choices with our minds and bodies.

Being excused is so much more than being "dismissed." It is an all encompassing term that may mean many things: these two people are already talking and you've interrupted; this is not an appropriate time or place for what you are doing; you being here talking to me or touching my work interferes with my concentration; I don't choose to be around you at this moment - I would rather be left alone. And the list could go on. The idea behind being excused is allowing the child to decipher for himself why he was asked to walk away.

Over time, for example, if a child is asked to "please be excused" every time he approaches two adults in conversation he will eventually catch on to the connection between the two things (interrupting adults talking = me being excused) and learn to wait patiently until one of the adults acknowledges him. This helps the child internalize the concept for himself rather than having it told to him by adults (i.e. "Would you please not be rude and interrupt when adults are talking" or "How many times have I asked you not to interrupt when I am talking to someone?"). Consider, also, the social embarrassment of these example rebukes. It's demeaning to the child to be talked down to in such a manner. Being excused allows the child to maintain his sense of dignity and self-worth while at the same time analyzing the situation and growing his social skill set.

So in the primary classroom yesterday, a very young, first year student was "watching" (i.e. bothering) an older child who was working. As the teacher approached the situation (that's called proximity and is a "disciplinary" tool Montessori teachers use) to make her presence known, the younger child turned to her and said, with a smile, "I'm being excused." And that's an amazingly huge Montessori step forward for that child. In the short four weeks we have been in session, this child has taken a Montessori teaching tool and internalized it. He didn't need to be told what to do; he knew.

Try using "please be excused" at home. It's a phrase your child is very familiar with, and it is a useful tool that can be used in a variety of situations. It helps ensure that your child is receiving the civility due any human being while at the same time learning important lessons for himself.

Defining Role Modeling

2008-09-05T14:43:00.001-05:00

If you've never had a three year old spit at you and had your first, most primal thought of retribution to be to spit back then you can't call yourself an adult yet. Just because you're a good role model doesn't mean you didn't at least think about doing the wrong thing first!

But seriously, there is something so important about modeling appropriate behavior for children. One of the greatest principles behind the genius that is Montessori is role modeling - from the way teachers interact with children to the way older children carry the weight and responsibility of setting a good example for the younger students - it is immeasurably important that we are aware of how people following behind us are likely to imitate what they see.

Did you know that one of the basic disciplinary measures Montessorians use is reteaching? For example, if a teacher observes a child misusing a piece of classroom material the teacher is trained to automatically assume a personal error occurred when she was introducing that material to the child. She would then take time not to correct the child but to model the appropriate use of that material. This process would occur again and again until the child begins to internalize the appropriate use of that material - not by being disciplined but by following an appropriate example.

It is very interesting to watch a Montessori teacher present a lesson to students for the very first time. Often, she will not speak at all. The child simply watches how to do the lesson. Doesn't this speak volumes about the old adage "Do what I do, not what I say"? It's one of the things you should enjoy most about your child's Montessori education - that the teachers are intent on engaging him in how to learn and not just speaking at him for hours at a time.

At home, if your child is doing something incorrectly or is somehow frustrating you, stop and ask yourself this question: have I been a good role model? It's possible sometimes that perhaps you simply haven't shown him how to do that correctly or maybe he simply needs to be shown again. It's like the Chinese Proverb says, “Tell me and I will forget; show me and I will remember; involve me and I will understand.”

And, by the way, don't ever spit back at a three year old. That's definitely not being a good role model. And it's immature.

Does the End Justify the Means

2008-08-20T14:52:00.001-05:00

In case your mom never told you...life is not fair nor is it easy. We all have to do things that are difficult, time consuming, and often mind numbingly frustrating. Whether you are three years old and trying to learn to put your shoes on by yourself or you are a professional adult who is having trouble adjusting to a new routine at work, worthwhile things take patience, commitment, and a little bit of elbow grease; and whether you're three or 30, it's immature to get upset and throw a tantrum if you can't do it perfectly from the get go.

This lesson is as important for your child as it is for you. It is infinitely more convenient for you to put your child's shoes on his feet for him. It is infinitely more important that he learn to do it for himself. Will it frustrate him? Absolutely. Does that mean he can lay in the floor screaming that he can't get his shoes on? Absolutely not. Worthwhile things are frequently frustrating, yet we must learn to channel our frustrations into a positive outcome - reaching our goal or achieving success. The value, the joy in learning to care for oneself is definitely an end that justifies the means, even if that means is a little bit of aggravation - for you and your child.

The First Days of School

2008-08-19T13:06:00.001-05:00

The first days of class are very fun for me as an administrator. I get to look on as tot and primary teachers deal with new crying, screaming, kicking children as well as confused and anxious parents or as elementary teachers welcome back children they missed over the summer months. I luxuriously watch as the tot and primary teachers strive to bring peace to the chaos that descends on their classrooms and lay the foundation for a productive year of learning and growing and the elementary teachers establish an atmosphere replete with challenges and benchmarks of progressive academics. At times, it's like watching educated, professional women try to herd cats; other times it's like watching wizards perform magic.

The tot environment can sometimes seem like it is on the verge of imploding during the first days. From the wails of the ones who have just separated from their primary caregiver for the first time ever to the babble of the returning older children who spent the last three months perfecting their verbalization skills, I often wonder if we shouldn't soundproof that room. But the great din of noise speaks volumes (no pun intended) about the complexity of that age, the lessons they are learning, and the many, many different aspects of development that they are in a sensitive period for including movement, language development, awareness of order and time, good manners, and much more.

In the primary classroom, whether the students are 3, 4, or 5 years old, they come into the environment wide-eyed, either with excitement or fear, taking in everything from the tenor of the teacher's face and voice to all the works available on the shelves. Looking innocent and inexperienced, they then proceed to wreak havoc...standing when asked to sit, running when asked to walk, touching when asked to listen. Much of the first lessons for new primary students center around learning to following the routines and procedures of the classroom and rising to the expectations set for them.

Contrasted with the noise and bedlam of the younger classrooms, you won't know lower and upper elementary students are present unless you take time to peak into the classroom to make sure they haven't left the building. Speaking just above a whisper, the teachers guide students in a familiar fashion to familiar activities. The challenge no longer lies in simply learning to function appropriately in the environment; that skill has hopefully long been mastered. No, the new charge lies in sparking the imagination, learning to reason, developing moral awareness, and establishing rules for self and peers as well as synthesizing new and difficult academic skills.

If you happen to catch a glimpse of one of our environments in progress this week, don't judge. It's harder than it looks to turn the first days of school into a school year that has meaning and productivity. And if you think about it - take time to encourage a teacher this week. They need it!