Everybody Makes Mistakes

"Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days..." Yes, I know I just started the blog with lyrics from a Hannah Montana song. But "nobody's perfect! I gotta work it...again and again 'til I get it right." Sorry, I'll stop.

What lessons are you teaching your child about making mistakes, failure, criticism, success, and self worth? Either directly or indirectly, you are laying the lifelong foundation for these principles in your child's life today. Every day. Are you sure you're laying the right foundational blocks in the right place in the right way? Let's talk about what Montessorians believe about mistakes and how they are dealt with in the classroom.

One thing Montessori children learn from an early age is that repetition brings mastery. Very few Montessori lessons can be accomplished correctly and mastered in a single attempt. This successive progression toward a larger goal begins teaching children at an early age how to take the risks necessary to achieve success - not that success is a required result for every attempt. Children then begin to internalize the ideology that failures are experiences from which to learn from and build upon rather than defeats. Also, most Montessori lessons have a built in "control of error" brilliantly designed by Dr. Montessori to "...lead the child to apply his reasoning power to work." Montessori students learn over time that mistakes are not to be feared; they are not criticized or ridiculed by others when they do something wrong. Mistakes may often go unnoticed by others or might even be corrected quietly by peers in collaborative engagement. As children advance through the Montessori program their self worth grows in proportion to their repeated successes.

Do you consider your child a failure if he does not get something right on the first attempt? Or do you encourage his repeated attempts and then praise success when it comes? Do you wait for him to discover his own mistakes and self-correct or do you belligerently or embarrassingly point them out for him? What do you personally believe about success and failure and what do your actions say to your children about those beliefs? There are lots of things to consider when rearing children but dealing with successes, failures, and mistakes cannot be left to chance or haphazardness. We must deliberately and with forethought seize daily moments to talk age-appropriately with our children about personal growth, making the most of failure as a learning opportunity, how to accept criticism and deal with difficult people, and keeping on keeping on until success is achieved. We must be conscious of our own thoughts and actions about failure, carefully considering the model we are setting for them to follow.

So as Hannah Montana sings, "you live and you learn it and if I mess it up sometimes...Nobody's perfect! Next time you feel like... it's just one of those days...when you just can't seem to win...if things don't turn out the way you plan, FIGURE SOMETHING ELSE OUT! Don't stay down! Try again! YEAH!"

Don't you just love Hannah Montana!?