The elementary class sizes are so small that I worry about my child's socialization.
Parents who choose to extend their child's Montessori education past the primary level often run into the issue of whether the child will be properly socialized if he attends a school with smaller class sizes than those in traditional public schools. This criticism stems from the idea that the child's ability to relate with others is hampered, if not disabled, when he is absent from a large school-based peer group. Many parents contending this argument hold the idea that socialization only refers to how well their child interacts with and gets along with other children. Therefore, it is extremely important that we begin this discussion with a clear definition of what the term socialization refers to.
Socialization is a learning process that begins shortly after birth. Human infants are born without any culture. They must be transformed by their parents, teachers, and others into culturally and socially adept animals. The general process of acquiring culture is referred to as socialization. Childhood, obviously, is the period of the most intense and the most crucial socialization. It is then that we acquire language and learn the fundamentals of our culture. We also have experiences that teach us lessons and potentially lead us to alter our expectations, beliefs, values, and personality. Children learn core values such as love, empathy, honesty, fairness, respect, responsibility, optimism/faith through observation, interaction, behavioral lessons and literature, but most importantly they truly internalize these values through their relationships with the significant adults in their lives and through practicing those values with their peers under adult supervision. Simply spending a lot of time with a lot of children will never properly socialize a child.
Given this viewpoint, let's now consider the kind of “socialization” that children receive in a more traditional school setting with those seemingly-desirable larger peer groups. In a typical school setting, elementary children are grouped by age and, in some cases ability level, in a classroom with around 30 of their peers. They spend approximately five to six hours a day with these same children and one teacher. The main form of communication they engage in during the day is passive. They are told what to do, when to do it, and how it should be done, and deviation from mainstream-ness is considered a discipline problem. More often than not, successful performance is defined as keeping up with or outdoing the other children. Teachers have little or no time to devote to individual children and almost everything is geared toward the middle or the average. Time spent away from the classroom is limited to small breaks, including lunch and recess, and usually lasts 30 minutes or less. This small amount of non-academically-focused time typically involves interaction with large numbers of other children and a very limited amount of adult supervision. Separated from appropriate adult influence and interaction (modeling), typically it is the bad examples that are followed rather than the good examples. Constant exposure to the immaturities and abuses of other children does not effectively bring about the appropriate aspects of socialization.
On the flip side, consider the Montessori environment. Children are in constant interaction with people of and outside their age groups, including many adults. The children develop relationships that are built on mutual respect and collaboration. The three-year cycles allow for a greater, more expanded relationship between the children and the teachers. They have greater freedom to communicate and explore the dynamics of relationships and they are engaged in creating culture for their classroom. Time spent away from the study of particular academic subjects involves practical activities such as washing dishes, cleaning, exercising, gardening, art, community meetings where students participate in the determining of appropriate behavior for their environment, and more. This social interaction can constitute up to two hours of their day. Each child’s performance is based on discovering their own capabilities and achieving their personal best, not on an arbitrary comparison with other children. Working on socialization and refining a child's social skills is an essential part of Montessori education.
The Montessori approach to educating the whole child, rather than just the academic child, means that the school works just as hard as the family to properly socialize the child. A Montessori education fosters empathy, compassion, and respect toward the needs and feelings of others. We strive to teach children that they have a personal commitment to act in a way that makes a positive difference in the lives of others and in the world. Children who have the benefit of a Montessori education acquire a positive self-image, independence, and self-assurance. Upon completing a Montessori education, students have all the values and attitudes that pay off in the more traditional settings where they will spend their adult lives. They enjoy people and know how to develop strong friendships. They generally follow rules and act responsibly. They live from a basic sense of self-respect and rarely get themselves into self-destructive situations. Their lives tend to reflect both joy and dignity. And these are priceless lessons, speaking to the true heart of a well-socialized child, which they will carry with them throughout their lifetime.
Regardless of how logical this argument may seem, most parents still struggle with this myth, that to be properly socialized children must spend lots of time with a large group of their peers. This is simply not true. Keeping children in isolated groups of children is one of the least effective ways to ensure that proper socialization occurs. But another problem with exposing children to large peer groups before their social and moral development is solidified is that it heightens peer dependence. We all naturally want the approval of those around us. Children who are in traditional schools are around lots of other children most of the time; therefore, they look to other children for their main source of approval. In order to gain the approval of a group, it is necessary to conform to the behaviors and norms of that group. Thus, traditionally-schooled children, by the very nature of the design of traditional school socialization, will grow up dependent on their peers for approval. It doesn't really matter that they are eventually told to "resist peer pressure." This is like putting a child in a room filled with candy and letting him eat all he wants, and then, a few years later, telling him not to eat any candy: his habits are well developed and will not be easily changed.
Yes, many children go to traditional schools and come out as fine young adults, but that is in spite of traditional school socialization, not because of it. Educational and development theorists and even politicians lament daily that our public school system is “broken,” that in order to produce graduates who are going to be successful (in life as well as in their chosen careers), schools must offer more integrated curricula, emphasize skills such as cooperative decision-making and problem solving, and nurture moral development by doing things such as requiring students to work out common rules based on fairness.
In other words, Montessori classrooms are a better reflection of society and place greater emphasis on the acquisition of the skills and characteristics necessary to be a successful participant in society than do traditional schools. That social skills – really, practical life skills –come automatically from immersion in a larger peer group, one with minimal adult moderation, is, frankly, unbelievable.
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