Blogging Up is Hard to Do

I've realized something about myself that is hard to admit - especially in such a public forum as the school blog...but confession is good for the soul, right? So here goes:

I'm not good at blogging.

There, I said it. I think the hardest thing about blogging is the consistency required. I think of things I want to write about, things I think our school community would like to read about and then promptly get distracted by other things and never get around to blogging. (Maybe you feel obligated to read the blog and are actually happy that I don't blog consistently. If so, please don't tell me - that would seriously hurt my feelings.)

Training yourself, disciplining yourself to do something consistently is a skill. It is a skill that often sets people apart whether they are more disciplined in their exercise routine and eating habits resulting in better health or their finances resulting in opportunities to be more generous to those in need or having extra money during times of crisis or in their daily meditation practices making them more balanced and in tune with their feelings and emotions.

Think about the people you know that you would describe as consistent or disciplined. How does that characteristic play out in their everyday lives? What is it about that person that sets them apart in your mind as "disciplined?" Is that something you desire? For yourself? For your child?

Montessori is about being consistent and disciplined. Children are taught from very early ages to consistently approach a task until success or completion. As Dr. Montessori said, "The more the capacity to concentrate is developed, the more often the profound tranquility in work is achieved, then the clearer will be the manifestation of discipline within the child." What this truly means for your Montessori student is that the work he delves into everyday is teaching him to be disciplined, not externally by false motivators like grades or stickers or even the praise of adults but more importantly self-disciplined by internal motivators like a sense of accomplishment and pride, a desire to grow and learn new things, and the pure joy of discovering his fullest potential. And all that aside from the actual academic learning that is taking place.

Even though blogging is hard for me to do consistently, I find joy (and thus motivation) in sharing small insights into the world of Montessori with you - hopefully helping you more fully understand your choice of Montessori education for your child and better equipping you to explain that choice to others.

I'll try to be more consistent but as the old adage goes "blogging up is hard to do."

Actually that was a song by Neil Sedaka called "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" which was an awesome song from the 60s - I just love oldies. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbad22CKlB4.

Community Time

I'll be the first to admit that I'm biased toward the Montessori method of education. Personally, I see what it does for my children academically, socially, emotionally, and physically. Professionally, it most closely aligns with what I believe as an educational expert about curriculum and instruction. But as I sat and watched the Lower Elementary community time today, I was almost moved to tears.

Mrs. Hines tapped a small bell that peeled softly throughout the classroom and called the community meeting to order. The children eagerly put away what they were doing and gathered on the rug, faces expectantly upturned to their guide.

She began in a very quite voice by asking if there were any acknowledgements to be made today. Immediately half a dozen hands went into the air followed by a myriad of praise for their classmates and teachers. "Anissa helped me with my double digit multiplication today when I forgot one of my math facts." "Ms. Robison helped me read a word I didn't recognize." "Leighton spent over 20 minutes helping me look for a 1,000 tile I had misplaced." "Fooad helped me find the right answer in my SRA." And on and on they went for almost 10 minutes, exhorting one another and publicly thanking those who had helped them.

After acknowledgements, it was time for sharing. Three children chose to share today. A third level student created a poster board about her ballet research project and shared all she had learned with her friends, a first level student wanted to read a story she had written, and a second year student had been to Dallas to see the King Tut exhibit and wanted to share what she had seen and learned. Two of the sharers were confident - simply sharing their garnered knowledge with others, while one was very shy - choosing to share a self-created work with others, hoping they liked what she wrote. I was amazed as the students raptly listened and then asked questions. They were respectful, attentive, and excited to hear from their classmates and learn new things.

Finally, Mrs. Hines brought community time to a close with class announcements including details about tomorrow's field trip. Instead of just talking to the students, however, she prompted their involvement in the announcements by asking them questions like "what special event do we have planned for tomorrow? what is appropriate attire for a trip to a farm? and what does it mean to be a representative of our school when we are on a trip?" The students responded appropriately, asked a few questions, and then were dismissed for lunch time.

What about this almost brought you to tears??? is probably what you're thinking right now. Well, stop and think for a moment. How many children, teenagers, or adults do you know that can't acknowledge good things about other people, have terrible listening skills, and no deductive reasoning whatsoever. As I sat there and watch our children have these ideas reinforced (and knowing that happens on a daily basis) I began to truly understand what a privilege a Montessori education is.

In traditional schools where it is all about the test scores, teachers can't even take time to properly teach the material - they simply fling it out there for immediate memorization and regurgitation. Nothing, not even the academic stuff, is being learned. I almost can't even continue typing as I think about what your child learned at Montessori today aside from the academic stuff. Did your child touch language, math, science, and history work today? Yes, and in a more meaningful, relevant way. But more importantly today your child learned again that it's just as important to be a decent human being - respectful, kind, compassionate, courteous, gracious, generous, patient, loving, empathic - with convictions and the strength to stand for what is right.

I'm not saying that academics are not important; as an educator it would be blasphemous for me to even suggest such a thing. In fact, as a staff we are continuing to refine the way we report progress to parents - trying to find the best way to help you feel confident that your child is moving forward, learning, and growing in every important aspect of their development. All I'm trying to point out is what a privilege it is that your child attends a Montessori school. When you find yourself obsessing over all the stuff you think your child might be missing by being in a "nontraditional" school, take a moment to think about all that they are not missing.

I don't feel like my children are missing anything; I wholly believe that they are gaining more. And I am grateful they have that opportunity. But I'm biased, right?

Everybody Makes Mistakes

"Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days..." Yes, I know I just started the blog with lyrics from a Hannah Montana song. But "nobody's perfect! I gotta work it...again and again 'til I get it right." Sorry, I'll stop.

What lessons are you teaching your child about making mistakes, failure, criticism, success, and self worth? Either directly or indirectly, you are laying the lifelong foundation for these principles in your child's life today. Every day. Are you sure you're laying the right foundational blocks in the right place in the right way? Let's talk about what Montessorians believe about mistakes and how they are dealt with in the classroom.

One thing Montessori children learn from an early age is that repetition brings mastery. Very few Montessori lessons can be accomplished correctly and mastered in a single attempt. This successive progression toward a larger goal begins teaching children at an early age how to take the risks necessary to achieve success - not that success is a required result for every attempt. Children then begin to internalize the ideology that failures are experiences from which to learn from and build upon rather than defeats. Also, most Montessori lessons have a built in "control of error" brilliantly designed by Dr. Montessori to "...lead the child to apply his reasoning power to work." Montessori students learn over time that mistakes are not to be feared; they are not criticized or ridiculed by others when they do something wrong. Mistakes may often go unnoticed by others or might even be corrected quietly by peers in collaborative engagement. As children advance through the Montessori program their self worth grows in proportion to their repeated successes.

Do you consider your child a failure if he does not get something right on the first attempt? Or do you encourage his repeated attempts and then praise success when it comes? Do you wait for him to discover his own mistakes and self-correct or do you belligerently or embarrassingly point them out for him? What do you personally believe about success and failure and what do your actions say to your children about those beliefs? There are lots of things to consider when rearing children but dealing with successes, failures, and mistakes cannot be left to chance or haphazardness. We must deliberately and with forethought seize daily moments to talk age-appropriately with our children about personal growth, making the most of failure as a learning opportunity, how to accept criticism and deal with difficult people, and keeping on keeping on until success is achieved. We must be conscious of our own thoughts and actions about failure, carefully considering the model we are setting for them to follow.

So as Hannah Montana sings, "you live and you learn it and if I mess it up sometimes...Nobody's perfect! Next time you feel like... it's just one of those days...when you just can't seem to win...if things don't turn out the way you plan, FIGURE SOMETHING ELSE OUT! Don't stay down! Try again! YEAH!"

Don't you just love Hannah Montana!?

What Would You Do With An Extra Hour?

What would you do if you had an extra hour of time every Friday? Go home early? Leave an hour earlier for your weekend get-a-way? Go get a massage or your hair done? Catch up on some leisurely reading you've been wanting to do like rereading Twilight* for the third time (sorry if you're not a Twilight fan and have no idea what I'm talking about)?

Let me tell you what our staff does with their extra hour of time every Friday after we dismiss your child at 2:00 p.m.

Because a Montessori teacher's class time is strictly devoted to meeting the needs of the children, the early dismissal on Friday gives her the much needed opportunity to plan, record progress, and keep the website up-to-date. Unlike traditional teachers who are allotted 45 minutes to one hour of prep time per day, our teachers receive no such "down time" to accomplish daily tasks, leaving these things to be done after school or on the weekends. On a regular weekday, some teachers stay until well after 4:00 p.m., or choose to work later that evening from home, completing the daily tasks required to keep a Montessori environment functioning properly. Friday is no different and the extra hour they are given is like a lifeline to them, giving them time to catch up on, evaluate, and prepare for the next week of all the multi-tasking tasks they must take care of.

Preparing the environment for the next week is also a vital part of what the teachers do on Friday. They take this opportunity to prepare new works, straighten the classroom, assess what works need to be removed or added to the shelves, repair damaged works, and to evaluate the order and sequence of the works. Also consider how much more individualized Montessori is than a traditional classroom and how much extra planning that requires - ensuring that the individual lessons required for each child are properly prepared and placed on the shelves.

We also use Friday for our regularly scheduled staff and team meetings. Coming together each week as a staff and a team of educators to discuss continuity throughout all environments, school/family communication strategies, short-term and long-term staff goals, and curricular and extracurricular activities is vital to the life of the school and the academic progress of your child. Whether it is the entire staff discussing how to best keep parents abreast of academic progress or the latest Montessori research about teaching spelling or just the primary teachers discussing their classroom scheduling and parent contacts that need to be made, this time together is invaluable to the morale, stability, and sustainability of the staff.

So what could you do with your extra hour of time every Friday after we dismiss your child at 2:00 p.m.?

If you're still at work, or for any other reason unable to pick up your child, you can simply continue with what you're doing knowing that your child is engaged in fun and exciting after school activities. Mrs. Lange and Ms. Robison ensure every Friday that the children are having a blast either learning how to crochet, make grilled cheese sandwiches, or a host of other incredibly entertaining pursuits.

You could use this time to schedule doctor/dentist appointments or other such events that would normally cause a child to miss important class time.

You could arrange a play date with some of your child's friends. Go to the park or go bowling. If you have children in other schools, use this extra hour as special "one-on-one" time with your Montessori student, making a special trip to get ice cream or something where the two of you can visit about what's going on in his life. You could plan an early departure for a family weekend get-a-way. Take your student to the public library and check out some books. There is no end to what you and your child could do during this extra hour you have together.

OR you could read Twilight* (for the first or third time) and spend an hour with Edward. I, for one, would completely understand if you made that choice.

*The references to Twilight in this blog in no way represent an endorsement of this work of fiction by The Montessori School. Rather it is a representation of the sad addiction of one woman to the brain candy/cult phenom known as the Twilight saga. If you haven't read it, you simply wouldn't understand.

Global Education

Montessori is not so much about academics as it is about education for life. This is a phrase that we often use when trying to explain the Montessori philosophy to prospective families. It's one of the many, many things that often draws people's interest to a Montessori education for their children. As a society, we are realizing more and more that being smart isn't enough if one can't function in a productive and meaningful way that contributes to the global good.

As Montessori parents we often want to know that our children are learning how to learn, but also that they are learning how to take part in the efforts to better our world. We want to give our children a vision of the world that is bigger than Fort Smith or Arkansas or the United States of America. We want to lessen the effects of their egocentricity and broaden their possibilities for impacting good across the globe.

Education, in its purest form, is enlightenment - exposing children to ideas, concepts, philosophies, and ways of doing things that bring them to a point of decision making. What do I believe about what I have learned and what will I do with that knowledge? Without incorporating information about the global society we live in and how each person tangibly contributes to that society, we are not properly enlightening our children.

Embrace The Montessori School's efforts to give your children a global education. Check out this website to find ways that you can reinforce these ideologies in your home. Together, we can raise a generation that exudes compassion, generosity, tolerance, and contribution. As Dr. Maria Montessori said so we believe, "Let us give the child a vision of the whole universe...for all things are part of the universe, and are connected with each other to form one whole unity."

The Whole Truth

My mom and dad are getting a divorce and I'm going to live with my aunt.

My mom is pregnant and I'm going to have a baby brother.

Well...the police came to our house and Daddy had to go away with the policeman.

My mom never cooks for us. We eat cookies for dinner every night and I usually have a bowl of ice cream for breakfast.

You cannot even begin to imagine the stories we hear at school from children. One of the above scenarios was true (I won't tell you which one but suffice to say that someone did actually end up in jail) but the rest are false. So it makes us wonder, what do you hear at home about us that may or may not be true? Children have been known to manipulate a situation to their benefit (gasp!). It's a natural tendency in all human beings - using a portion of the truth, or sometimes an outright lie, to justify some need or want. The problem lies in the fact that this is not teaching a child to appropriately handle truths, accurately express feelings, and cooperatively create positive solutions to difficult circumstances. And yes, these are learned behaviors, not innate ones.

Surprisingly, children quickly learn the buzz words that push the buttons of adults in their lives. At school, things that generally get a rise out of a teacher include stories of neglect, disruption in the nuclear family, physical abuse, or other such social travesties. At home, things that generally get a rise out of a parent include stories of unfairness, lack of academic progress, bullying, or other educational travesties. Rarely do these stories get at the heart of what is truly bothering the child. Children frequently have trouble verbalizing what is bothering them. Perhaps mom and dad had an argument, but she tells the teacher mom and dad are divorcing. Possibly he had trouble with a difficult assignment, but he tells his parents that the teacher is treating him unfairly. Although not in anyway malicious, such a deviance avoids the heart of the problem - something is bothering the child and it needs to be dealt with.

There are several steps we take at school to ensure that any issue is properly dealt with. Of course, any hint of child abuse or neglect is to be reported immediately; however good judgment and some common sense go a long way when dealing with children. We try to:

1. Encourage the child to tell the entire story, prompting him with phrases such as start at the beginning; what happened next?; what caused you to feel ___________?; when did you start to feel _________?; what were _______'s exact words.

2. Avoid open-ended and leading questions such as did ________ say mean things to you?; did ________ touch you or hit you?

Children most often respond with an affirmative if they are in a difficult or uncomfortable situation because they often think a "yes" is what the adult wants to hear. You can get a child to confirm almost anything if you word it correctly. The easiest way to avoid this is to NOT ask yes or no questions. Ask questions that require a more lengthy response.

3. Walk the child through possible resolutions to the problem: what could you have done differently?; what would happen if you ____________?; how would you feel if ______________?

In the end, if we still believe the child is telling the whole truth and the issue needs to be addressed more formally, we contact the person(s) who can help clarify any misunderstandings or give further insight into the situation. We try to never jump to conclusions. On the whole, it is our faith in you, as parents, that often keeps us from believing the wild and sometimes far-fetched stories your children tell about you.

But I will let you wonder if it was your child who told us that "Mom locked Dad out of the house last night and HE WAS NAKED!"

Being Excused

A very common phrase around The Montessori School is "please be excused." This phrase is used from teacher to student and student to student. It is modeled and encouraged in every classroom on campus. As we continually strive to build a strong foundation of grace and courtesy towards others, this phrase is the embodiment of so many things we want our children to internalize - empowerment to speak up for oneself and make needs known, extending another human being kindness with words even when what's being asked isn't optional, and learning to make good choices with our minds and bodies.

Being excused is so much more than being "dismissed." It is an all encompassing term that may mean many things: these two people are already talking and you've interrupted; this is not an appropriate time or place for what you are doing; you being here talking to me or touching my work interferes with my concentration; I don't choose to be around you at this moment - I would rather be left alone. And the list could go on. The idea behind being excused is allowing the child to decipher for himself why he was asked to walk away.

Over time, for example, if a child is asked to "please be excused" every time he approaches two adults in conversation he will eventually catch on to the connection between the two things (interrupting adults talking = me being excused) and learn to wait patiently until one of the adults acknowledges him. This helps the child internalize the concept for himself rather than having it told to him by adults (i.e. "Would you please not be rude and interrupt when adults are talking" or "How many times have I asked you not to interrupt when I am talking to someone?"). Consider, also, the social embarrassment of these example rebukes. It's demeaning to the child to be talked down to in such a manner. Being excused allows the child to maintain his sense of dignity and self-worth while at the same time analyzing the situation and growing his social skill set.

So in the primary classroom yesterday, a very young, first year student was "watching" (i.e. bothering) an older child who was working. As the teacher approached the situation (that's called proximity and is a "disciplinary" tool Montessori teachers use) to make her presence known, the younger child turned to her and said, with a smile, "I'm being excused." And that's an amazingly huge Montessori step forward for that child. In the short four weeks we have been in session, this child has taken a Montessori teaching tool and internalized it. He didn't need to be told what to do; he knew.

Try using "please be excused" at home. It's a phrase your child is very familiar with, and it is a useful tool that can be used in a variety of situations. It helps ensure that your child is receiving the civility due any human being while at the same time learning important lessons for himself.

Defining Role Modeling

If you've never had a three year old spit at you and had your first, most primal thought of retribution to be to spit back then you can't call yourself an adult yet. Just because you're a good role model doesn't mean you didn't at least think about doing the wrong thing first!

But seriously, there is something so important about modeling appropriate behavior for children. One of the greatest principles behind the genius that is Montessori is role modeling - from the way teachers interact with children to the way older children carry the weight and responsibility of setting a good example for the younger students - it is immeasurably important that we are aware of how people following behind us are likely to imitate what they see.

Did you know that one of the basic disciplinary measures Montessorians use is reteaching? For example, if a teacher observes a child misusing a piece of classroom material the teacher is trained to automatically assume a personal error occurred when she was introducing that material to the child. She would then take time not to correct the child but to model the appropriate use of that material. This process would occur again and again until the child begins to internalize the appropriate use of that material - not by being disciplined but by following an appropriate example.

It is very interesting to watch a Montessori teacher present a lesson to students for the very first time. Often, she will not speak at all. The child simply watches how to do the lesson. Doesn't this speak volumes about the old adage "Do what I do, not what I say"? It's one of the things you should enjoy most about your child's Montessori education - that the teachers are intent on engaging him in how to learn and not just speaking at him for hours at a time.

At home, if your child is doing something incorrectly or is somehow frustrating you, stop and ask yourself this question: have I been a good role model? It's possible sometimes that perhaps you simply haven't shown him how to do that correctly or maybe he simply needs to be shown again. It's like the Chinese Proverb says, “Tell me and I will forget; show me and I will remember; involve me and I will understand.”

And, by the way, don't ever spit back at a three year old. That's definitely not being a good role model. And it's immature.

Does the End Justify the Means

In case your mom never told you...life is not fair nor is it easy. We all have to do things that are difficult, time consuming, and often mind numbingly frustrating. Whether you are three years old and trying to learn to put your shoes on by yourself or you are a professional adult who is having trouble adjusting to a new routine at work, worthwhile things take patience, commitment, and a little bit of elbow grease; and whether you're three or 30, it's immature to get upset and throw a tantrum if you can't do it perfectly from the get go.

This lesson is as important for your child as it is for you. It is infinitely more convenient for you to put your child's shoes on his feet for him. It is infinitely more important that he learn to do it for himself. Will it frustrate him? Absolutely. Does that mean he can lay in the floor screaming that he can't get his shoes on? Absolutely not. Worthwhile things are frequently frustrating, yet we must learn to channel our frustrations into a positive outcome - reaching our goal or achieving success. The value, the joy in learning to care for oneself is definitely an end that justifies the means, even if that means is a little bit of aggravation - for you and your child.

The First Days of School

The first days of class are very fun for me as an administrator. I get to look on as tot and primary teachers deal with new crying, screaming, kicking children as well as confused and anxious parents or as elementary teachers welcome back children they missed over the summer months. I luxuriously watch as the tot and primary teachers strive to bring peace to the chaos that descends on their classrooms and lay the foundation for a productive year of learning and growing and the elementary teachers establish an atmosphere replete with challenges and benchmarks of progressive academics. At times, it's like watching educated, professional women try to herd cats; other times it's like watching wizards perform magic.

The tot environment can sometimes seem like it is on the verge of imploding during the first days. From the wails of the ones who have just separated from their primary caregiver for the first time ever to the babble of the returning older children who spent the last three months perfecting their verbalization skills, I often wonder if we shouldn't soundproof that room. But the great din of noise speaks volumes (no pun intended) about the complexity of that age, the lessons they are learning, and the many, many different aspects of development that they are in a sensitive period for including movement, language development, awareness of order and time, good manners, and much more.

In the primary classroom, whether the students are 3, 4, or 5 years old, they come into the environment wide-eyed, either with excitement or fear, taking in everything from the tenor of the teacher's face and voice to all the works available on the shelves. Looking innocent and inexperienced, they then proceed to wreak havoc...standing when asked to sit, running when asked to walk, touching when asked to listen. Much of the first lessons for new primary students center around learning to following the routines and procedures of the classroom and rising to the expectations set for them.

Contrasted with the noise and bedlam of the younger classrooms, you won't know lower and upper elementary students are present unless you take time to peak into the classroom to make sure they haven't left the building. Speaking just above a whisper, the teachers guide students in a familiar fashion to familiar activities. The challenge no longer lies in simply learning to function appropriately in the environment; that skill has hopefully long been mastered. No, the new charge lies in sparking the imagination, learning to reason, developing moral awareness, and establishing rules for self and peers as well as synthesizing new and difficult academic skills.

If you happen to catch a glimpse of one of our environments in progress this week, don't judge. It's harder than it looks to turn the first days of school into a school year that has meaning and productivity. And if you think about it - take time to encourage a teacher this week. They need it!