Defining Role Modeling

If you've never had a three year old spit at you and had your first, most primal thought of retribution to be to spit back then you can't call yourself an adult yet. Just because you're a good role model doesn't mean you didn't at least think about doing the wrong thing first!

But seriously, there is something so important about modeling appropriate behavior for children. One of the greatest principles behind the genius that is Montessori is role modeling - from the way teachers interact with children to the way older children carry the weight and responsibility of setting a good example for the younger students - it is immeasurably important that we are aware of how people following behind us are likely to imitate what they see.

Did you know that one of the basic disciplinary measures Montessorians use is reteaching? For example, if a teacher observes a child misusing a piece of classroom material the teacher is trained to automatically assume a personal error occurred when she was introducing that material to the child. She would then take time not to correct the child but to model the appropriate use of that material. This process would occur again and again until the child begins to internalize the appropriate use of that material - not by being disciplined but by following an appropriate example.

It is very interesting to watch a Montessori teacher present a lesson to students for the very first time. Often, she will not speak at all. The child simply watches how to do the lesson. Doesn't this speak volumes about the old adage "Do what I do, not what I say"? It's one of the things you should enjoy most about your child's Montessori education - that the teachers are intent on engaging him in how to learn and not just speaking at him for hours at a time.

At home, if your child is doing something incorrectly or is somehow frustrating you, stop and ask yourself this question: have I been a good role model? It's possible sometimes that perhaps you simply haven't shown him how to do that correctly or maybe he simply needs to be shown again. It's like the Chinese Proverb says, “Tell me and I will forget; show me and I will remember; involve me and I will understand.”

And, by the way, don't ever spit back at a three year old. That's definitely not being a good role model. And it's immature.