What Would You Do With An Extra Hour?

What would you do if you had an extra hour of time every Friday? Go home early? Leave an hour earlier for your weekend get-a-way? Go get a massage or your hair done? Catch up on some leisurely reading you've been wanting to do like rereading Twilight* for the third time (sorry if you're not a Twilight fan and have no idea what I'm talking about)?

Let me tell you what our staff does with their extra hour of time every Friday after we dismiss your child at 2:00 p.m.

Because a Montessori teacher's class time is strictly devoted to meeting the needs of the children, the early dismissal on Friday gives her the much needed opportunity to plan, record progress, and keep the website up-to-date. Unlike traditional teachers who are allotted 45 minutes to one hour of prep time per day, our teachers receive no such "down time" to accomplish daily tasks, leaving these things to be done after school or on the weekends. On a regular weekday, some teachers stay until well after 4:00 p.m., or choose to work later that evening from home, completing the daily tasks required to keep a Montessori environment functioning properly. Friday is no different and the extra hour they are given is like a lifeline to them, giving them time to catch up on, evaluate, and prepare for the next week of all the multi-tasking tasks they must take care of.

Preparing the environment for the next week is also a vital part of what the teachers do on Friday. They take this opportunity to prepare new works, straighten the classroom, assess what works need to be removed or added to the shelves, repair damaged works, and to evaluate the order and sequence of the works. Also consider how much more individualized Montessori is than a traditional classroom and how much extra planning that requires - ensuring that the individual lessons required for each child are properly prepared and placed on the shelves.

We also use Friday for our regularly scheduled staff and team meetings. Coming together each week as a staff and a team of educators to discuss continuity throughout all environments, school/family communication strategies, short-term and long-term staff goals, and curricular and extracurricular activities is vital to the life of the school and the academic progress of your child. Whether it is the entire staff discussing how to best keep parents abreast of academic progress or the latest Montessori research about teaching spelling or just the primary teachers discussing their classroom scheduling and parent contacts that need to be made, this time together is invaluable to the morale, stability, and sustainability of the staff.

So what could you do with your extra hour of time every Friday after we dismiss your child at 2:00 p.m.?

If you're still at work, or for any other reason unable to pick up your child, you can simply continue with what you're doing knowing that your child is engaged in fun and exciting after school activities. Mrs. Lange and Ms. Robison ensure every Friday that the children are having a blast either learning how to crochet, make grilled cheese sandwiches, or a host of other incredibly entertaining pursuits.

You could use this time to schedule doctor/dentist appointments or other such events that would normally cause a child to miss important class time.

You could arrange a play date with some of your child's friends. Go to the park or go bowling. If you have children in other schools, use this extra hour as special "one-on-one" time with your Montessori student, making a special trip to get ice cream or something where the two of you can visit about what's going on in his life. You could plan an early departure for a family weekend get-a-way. Take your student to the public library and check out some books. There is no end to what you and your child could do during this extra hour you have together.

OR you could read Twilight* (for the first or third time) and spend an hour with Edward. I, for one, would completely understand if you made that choice.

*The references to Twilight in this blog in no way represent an endorsement of this work of fiction by The Montessori School. Rather it is a representation of the sad addiction of one woman to the brain candy/cult phenom known as the Twilight saga. If you haven't read it, you simply wouldn't understand.

Global Education

Montessori is not so much about academics as it is about education for life. This is a phrase that we often use when trying to explain the Montessori philosophy to prospective families. It's one of the many, many things that often draws people's interest to a Montessori education for their children. As a society, we are realizing more and more that being smart isn't enough if one can't function in a productive and meaningful way that contributes to the global good.

As Montessori parents we often want to know that our children are learning how to learn, but also that they are learning how to take part in the efforts to better our world. We want to give our children a vision of the world that is bigger than Fort Smith or Arkansas or the United States of America. We want to lessen the effects of their egocentricity and broaden their possibilities for impacting good across the globe.

Education, in its purest form, is enlightenment - exposing children to ideas, concepts, philosophies, and ways of doing things that bring them to a point of decision making. What do I believe about what I have learned and what will I do with that knowledge? Without incorporating information about the global society we live in and how each person tangibly contributes to that society, we are not properly enlightening our children.

Embrace The Montessori School's efforts to give your children a global education. Check out this website to find ways that you can reinforce these ideologies in your home. Together, we can raise a generation that exudes compassion, generosity, tolerance, and contribution. As Dr. Maria Montessori said so we believe, "Let us give the child a vision of the whole universe...for all things are part of the universe, and are connected with each other to form one whole unity."

The Whole Truth

My mom and dad are getting a divorce and I'm going to live with my aunt.

My mom is pregnant and I'm going to have a baby brother.

Well...the police came to our house and Daddy had to go away with the policeman.

My mom never cooks for us. We eat cookies for dinner every night and I usually have a bowl of ice cream for breakfast.

You cannot even begin to imagine the stories we hear at school from children. One of the above scenarios was true (I won't tell you which one but suffice to say that someone did actually end up in jail) but the rest are false. So it makes us wonder, what do you hear at home about us that may or may not be true? Children have been known to manipulate a situation to their benefit (gasp!). It's a natural tendency in all human beings - using a portion of the truth, or sometimes an outright lie, to justify some need or want. The problem lies in the fact that this is not teaching a child to appropriately handle truths, accurately express feelings, and cooperatively create positive solutions to difficult circumstances. And yes, these are learned behaviors, not innate ones.

Surprisingly, children quickly learn the buzz words that push the buttons of adults in their lives. At school, things that generally get a rise out of a teacher include stories of neglect, disruption in the nuclear family, physical abuse, or other such social travesties. At home, things that generally get a rise out of a parent include stories of unfairness, lack of academic progress, bullying, or other educational travesties. Rarely do these stories get at the heart of what is truly bothering the child. Children frequently have trouble verbalizing what is bothering them. Perhaps mom and dad had an argument, but she tells the teacher mom and dad are divorcing. Possibly he had trouble with a difficult assignment, but he tells his parents that the teacher is treating him unfairly. Although not in anyway malicious, such a deviance avoids the heart of the problem - something is bothering the child and it needs to be dealt with.

There are several steps we take at school to ensure that any issue is properly dealt with. Of course, any hint of child abuse or neglect is to be reported immediately; however good judgment and some common sense go a long way when dealing with children. We try to:

1. Encourage the child to tell the entire story, prompting him with phrases such as start at the beginning; what happened next?; what caused you to feel ___________?; when did you start to feel _________?; what were _______'s exact words.

2. Avoid open-ended and leading questions such as did ________ say mean things to you?; did ________ touch you or hit you?

Children most often respond with an affirmative if they are in a difficult or uncomfortable situation because they often think a "yes" is what the adult wants to hear. You can get a child to confirm almost anything if you word it correctly. The easiest way to avoid this is to NOT ask yes or no questions. Ask questions that require a more lengthy response.

3. Walk the child through possible resolutions to the problem: what could you have done differently?; what would happen if you ____________?; how would you feel if ______________?

In the end, if we still believe the child is telling the whole truth and the issue needs to be addressed more formally, we contact the person(s) who can help clarify any misunderstandings or give further insight into the situation. We try to never jump to conclusions. On the whole, it is our faith in you, as parents, that often keeps us from believing the wild and sometimes far-fetched stories your children tell about you.

But I will let you wonder if it was your child who told us that "Mom locked Dad out of the house last night and HE WAS NAKED!"

Being Excused

A very common phrase around The Montessori School is "please be excused." This phrase is used from teacher to student and student to student. It is modeled and encouraged in every classroom on campus. As we continually strive to build a strong foundation of grace and courtesy towards others, this phrase is the embodiment of so many things we want our children to internalize - empowerment to speak up for oneself and make needs known, extending another human being kindness with words even when what's being asked isn't optional, and learning to make good choices with our minds and bodies.

Being excused is so much more than being "dismissed." It is an all encompassing term that may mean many things: these two people are already talking and you've interrupted; this is not an appropriate time or place for what you are doing; you being here talking to me or touching my work interferes with my concentration; I don't choose to be around you at this moment - I would rather be left alone. And the list could go on. The idea behind being excused is allowing the child to decipher for himself why he was asked to walk away.

Over time, for example, if a child is asked to "please be excused" every time he approaches two adults in conversation he will eventually catch on to the connection between the two things (interrupting adults talking = me being excused) and learn to wait patiently until one of the adults acknowledges him. This helps the child internalize the concept for himself rather than having it told to him by adults (i.e. "Would you please not be rude and interrupt when adults are talking" or "How many times have I asked you not to interrupt when I am talking to someone?"). Consider, also, the social embarrassment of these example rebukes. It's demeaning to the child to be talked down to in such a manner. Being excused allows the child to maintain his sense of dignity and self-worth while at the same time analyzing the situation and growing his social skill set.

So in the primary classroom yesterday, a very young, first year student was "watching" (i.e. bothering) an older child who was working. As the teacher approached the situation (that's called proximity and is a "disciplinary" tool Montessori teachers use) to make her presence known, the younger child turned to her and said, with a smile, "I'm being excused." And that's an amazingly huge Montessori step forward for that child. In the short four weeks we have been in session, this child has taken a Montessori teaching tool and internalized it. He didn't need to be told what to do; he knew.

Try using "please be excused" at home. It's a phrase your child is very familiar with, and it is a useful tool that can be used in a variety of situations. It helps ensure that your child is receiving the civility due any human being while at the same time learning important lessons for himself.

Defining Role Modeling

If you've never had a three year old spit at you and had your first, most primal thought of retribution to be to spit back then you can't call yourself an adult yet. Just because you're a good role model doesn't mean you didn't at least think about doing the wrong thing first!

But seriously, there is something so important about modeling appropriate behavior for children. One of the greatest principles behind the genius that is Montessori is role modeling - from the way teachers interact with children to the way older children carry the weight and responsibility of setting a good example for the younger students - it is immeasurably important that we are aware of how people following behind us are likely to imitate what they see.

Did you know that one of the basic disciplinary measures Montessorians use is reteaching? For example, if a teacher observes a child misusing a piece of classroom material the teacher is trained to automatically assume a personal error occurred when she was introducing that material to the child. She would then take time not to correct the child but to model the appropriate use of that material. This process would occur again and again until the child begins to internalize the appropriate use of that material - not by being disciplined but by following an appropriate example.

It is very interesting to watch a Montessori teacher present a lesson to students for the very first time. Often, she will not speak at all. The child simply watches how to do the lesson. Doesn't this speak volumes about the old adage "Do what I do, not what I say"? It's one of the things you should enjoy most about your child's Montessori education - that the teachers are intent on engaging him in how to learn and not just speaking at him for hours at a time.

At home, if your child is doing something incorrectly or is somehow frustrating you, stop and ask yourself this question: have I been a good role model? It's possible sometimes that perhaps you simply haven't shown him how to do that correctly or maybe he simply needs to be shown again. It's like the Chinese Proverb says, “Tell me and I will forget; show me and I will remember; involve me and I will understand.”

And, by the way, don't ever spit back at a three year old. That's definitely not being a good role model. And it's immature.